


Trust

by Fangirllikewhoa



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: 3x08, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Related, F/F, Femslash, Romance, Slow Burn, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-04-05 00:12:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4158273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirllikewhoa/pseuds/Fangirllikewhoa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing scene fic from "you should have trusted me" in 3x08.</p><p>"I'm so much stronger with you than without."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> May turn into SecretAgent!Delphine if I continue more chapters, but I feel like it also stands alone. 
> 
> Is it Saturday yet?

“You should have trusted me.” The words sound harsh to her own ears, especially after the kiss they'd just shared, but she had to make Cosima understand. And now, with this revelation that she had almost died… well, it was becoming increasingly difficult to be patient with the young clone standing dazed before her.

“I… I know, I just…”

“Just what? What in the world could justify you keeping all of this from me!? And don’t try to tell me that this is all. You are a terrible liar. If you want to try to get something past me, send one of your sisters.”

Delphine began to pace, her anger and frustration building, but Cosima stopped her with a hand on her wrist.

“So what, you think I should just come in here like everything is normal? Like we could just be colleagues, Dr. Cormier? Like I can just chat you up here, in Leekie’s office without wondering if they’ve gotten to you too?””

Delphine scoffs at this. “See? This is exactly what I’m talking about. You don’t trust me. You see only DYAD, but never me, never my intentions, never all of the things I am doing to keep you and your sisters safe.”

“Listen, I know that you and Sarah stopped Ferdinand from doing some nasty shit. And I know you are still probably taking orders from Topside. But in the end, Delphine, do you really blame me for not trusting any of this shit?”

Delphine ran a hand through her hair, exasperated. “I am not asking you to trust DYAD, Cosima, or Topside. I’m asking you to trust **me**. I’m asking you to believe me when I say that I am doing my best to love you and all of your sisters, to think about LEDA as a whole instead of simply you, Cosima.”

Her head hangs and she whispers, so softly Cosima isn’t sure she really heard her, “and it’s killing me.”

Cosima steps closer, raising a hand to comfort the blonde, but dropping it as Delphine raises her head and meets Cosima’s eyes. “I can’t even go into your lab, did you notice? It's too much.”

Cosima laughs at that, a bitter laugh choked with feeling, “At least you have an office you can come to instead. I still have to go there to do my work. I can’t sit on that couch anymore. And I keep putting your lab coat on and the collar smells like your shampoo.”

“Well, you’ll have to excuse me for not feeling too sorry for you. You seem to have moved on just fine.”

“Is that what this is about? No, really. Is that why you’re punishing me? Because of Shay?”

“Punishing you? Cosima! All I want in the world is for you to get better. I understand that you are not willing to harvest more bone marrow from Kira, but did you not hear me before? You have ONE MONTH before you will need another procedure. And that might be optimistic. You are gravely ill, and yet you go on like you haven’t a care in the world. You don’t come into work. You spend your days and nights with this girl you don't even know and have given up on the science. It’s like you don’t even care if you die!”

Cosima was visibly upset, tears streaming down her cheeks, voice breaking “What if I don’t?! What do I have to live for anyway? I am SO SICK of being a lab rat here Delphine. It was one thing when my sisters and I were first becoming aware of each other, but now this is some dark-ass shit. People are dying because of it- getting killed because of it. Is is so crazy that I might want out? DYAD makes us crazy- makes us doubt everyone in our lives. It is impossible to trust under these circumstances! Fuck, Delphine, did none of you wonder why Beth walked in front of that train?! I think about her every day, and these days I wonder if maybe she didn’t have the right idea.”

Delphine felt her mask slipping again, and she held her hands together in front of her to keep them from trembling or for reaching out to the younger woman. She felt the muscles in her jaw jump, “Cosima, everything I am doing is to keep you alive. And you’re telling me you don’t even want to be? I…” Her voice broke at that and she brushed the hot tears from her cheek. “I don’t know what to do to keep you safe from yourself, from your disease, as well as the outside threat. I've given you everything.”

Cosima gathered the taller woman in her arms, a small sob escaping her when she finally felt Delphine relax against her body. “Be. With. Me. Just be with me Delphine. I know it is dangerous, I know we could be killed. But at least we’d have each other. At least if you would let me see behind this mask, I could know where you stand.” She swallowed thickly, “and if this fucking disease finally does take me, at least I will have you with me when I go.”

Delphine felt something break loose within her at Cosima's declaration and she sobbed in earnest, burying her face in Cosima’s neck where she could smell patchouli and sweat and feel the smaller woman’s carotid artery jump against her lips. She clung to her, though she knew that she should be the one giving solace, not seeking it. She held her close, reveling in the feel of the clone’s heart beating against her chest.

When she finally stopped she stood back and cradled Cosima's face in her hands and searched her eyes. “You will not be going anywhere. We WILL find a cure, Cosima.”

Cosima watched the blonde’s face- all of the cold impassivity was gone and she was faced again with the doe eyed girl who couldn't hide her emotions if she wanted to. “Then help me find it. Be with me. Be my crazy science partner and help me kick this thing’s ass Delphine. You are a legit genius. I've seen you work, Doctor “I graduated from med school at 22” Cormier- and I need you working with me. But even if you can't –even if you have to keep being DYAD’s boss ass bitch- I can still hold you when you sleep at night.”

Delphine straightened and tried to turn away, but Cosima wouldn't allow it. She looked up at the ceiling as if she could find some reserve of strength there. 

“Don’t you understand that our enemies will see this as a weakness? They’ll use it against us Cosima, just as they did before. When they sent me to Frankfurt, do you think for a moment that I wanted to go? That I would so willingly walk away from you, knowing that you were so sick, wondering if the treatment had worked at all? They threatened to let you die if I didn't follow their orders. I didn’t know if you were alive or dead until finally Marion made me an offer with Topside. She started by showing me a video of you, walking with Scott into a comic book store. I nearly wept at the sight of you doing something so normal. She knew I would do anything to keep you safe and she used that, but we can’t be so vulnerable again Cosima. We can’t.”

Cosima closed the distance between them shaking her head and smiling a sad smile. “You big dumb genius, do you really believe that just because I’m not in your bed, you wouldn’t do anything to keep me safe? You would, and you have- probably things that would give me panic attacks. You're doing them ANYWAY. We can't keep living in fear of what they will or won't do. They'll do it anyway, but if we are together in this bullshit then let's be together. I'm so much stronger with you than without.” She pressed a gentle kiss to Delphine's mouth before pulling away. “And though I have to admit that the hair and power suits are hot, I think you're stronger with me, too.”

A laugh escaped Delphine's lips before she could stop it, and she leaned into Cosima's smaller frame brushing kisses over her mouth and she could feel her resistance slipping away. _“D’accord mon coeur._ Come, we need to talk. I have a lot to tell you before you decide that this is what you want. No more lies. There is much you don't know about me.”

Cosima raised her hand to Delphine's chest, holding it over her heart. “That’s probably true, but I know your heart. And everything else will be ok.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Divergent from S3E8- secret agent Delphine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this works? AU territory for sure now.

Delphine led them out into the cold night and hit the button to unlock the sleek silver Infiniti. As its lights flashed a hello, Cosima let out a low whistle. “Man, this job came with all the bells and whistles didn't it?”

Delphine opened Cosima's door and walked around to slide in the drivers seat. “I will admit that I have become a little spoiled by the perks. It is certainly better to be at the top of DYAD than a struggling post-doc. Just wait until you see the penthouse. It's positively obscene for just one person.”

Delphine nodded to the doorman as she entered and swiped a keycard at the elevator. As they rose up though the chrome and glass lobby, Cosima couldn't help but to wonder at the events that brought them to this moment. It seemed like a lifetime ago, when she was just a struggling grad student and Delphine was- well, Cosima had always known that Delphine was sent to be her monitor, but she had had no idea how twisted up into DYAD she was. And now, she really wasn't sure of where the blonde's allegiances lay. The one thing that felt true though, was Delphine's apparent allegiance to her and to her sisters.

The elevator doors slid open silently, and Delphine strode inside. There again was the confidence that Cosima found so striking. How was it that it wasn't present before, in Minnesota? Before she could speak, she watched as Delphine pressed her finger to her lips and brought out a small hand-held scanner. She paced the room with it quickly before she stood before Cosima. “Just making sure we don't have any prying eyes or ears.”

Cosima raised her eyebrows at that. “Ooohkay. So, you meant it before when you said that there’s a lot I don't know about you. Like, for example, you feel like someone could be listening in. But you're the boss of the big baddies now, Delphine, who would be bugging you?”

As she spoke she trailed after the tall blonde who was pulling wine glasses down from a cabinet. She poured them each a glass of red and motioned toward the large leather sofa. “I will get to that, but perhaps it is best if I begin at the beginning, no?”

Cosima sat and rolled the wine glass between her hands, looking up at the Frenchwoman. “Like when you started working on 324B21?”

Delphine smiled at the mention of Cosima's tag. “No, love. Before even that. Let me tell you who I really am. What I really am.”

Delphine began to pace as the story rolled out of her. She had begun her university studies early, having advanced through her boarding school classes early. She had been noticed for her talent while she was in medical school in Zurich, she explained. Initially she thought that the interest was due to her work on prion diseases. “You would not believe the amount of headhunting that goes on in the labs. I assumed that I was being courted by a pharmaceutical company. They were very persistent and very generous. They offered me my own lab, a staff to work on the research that formed my dissertation. I was flattered and accepted. Then they told me the truth. They wanted me for the science, yes, but also for more than that. I was hand-picked to infiltrate DYAD, to learn more about Neolution and later Topside.”

Cosima’s eyes went wide as she tried to calculate the number of crosses this was- double crossed, no. Was triple-crossed a thing? “So, what, you're a spy? For a rival company?”

Delphine sat then, and looked Cosima in the eye. “No. Not a company. _The_ company. I work for the CIA; my division works on biotechnology and medicine. It is in the best interests of the United States if certain technology remains…stable.”

Cosima tried not to look as incredulous as she felt and began to spin her bangles around her wrists. “Like human cloning, for example?”

Delphine bit her lip. “Yes, for example. But not just human cloning. Neolution, Topside, DYAD- they envision a future in which those with the means to choose their biological destiny create a superior race to those who do not. It is eugenical at its heart. It could create instability on a global scale.”

Cosima felt a spark as she began thinking about the implications of what Delphine described.  
“Maybe, but they're not taking into consideration epigenetic factors. We know that there are many variables that go into genome expression- some of which are really poorly understood. We are a long way off from being able to do genetic engineering on any kind of large scale.”

Delphine basked in the vision of Cosima as she geeked on the science. She poured more wine in each of their glasses and considered the brunette. This is how she got into trouble in the first place. She might have been able to deny her attraction to the physical specimen that was Cosima- certainly she had seen her share of the young woman’s clone sisters without feeling this incredible spark that leapt between them when they started talking about the implications of the scientific research on which they both spent so much time. It was her brain that was so sexy, Delphine mused. Well, her brain and the way her hands became so expressive when she was really into a conversation.

“Yes, that's what the research as published would have you believe, but then again, if you had told me that when I was a toddler, there had been a line of successful human clones created I would have laughed in your face. And yet,” she smiled, “here you sit.”

Cosima smiled and tilted her head in acknowledgment of the truth of that statement. She considered how much easier it was for her to believe unbelievable things since it became clear that she herself was supposedly impossible. “OK, so you’re a spook. Is your name really Delphine Cormier? Are you really French? And how old are you anyhow?”

Delphine finally stopped pacing and sat on the couch next to Cosima, “Yes, my name is Delphine Cormier. I am French, but my mother was a U.S. Citizen, my father French, and I have dual-citizenship. They met as part of Médecins Sans Frontières in the early 80s. They were very much in love. Very idealistic. They thought they would change the world.”

The blonde bent to slip off her boots, and curled her feet under her before she continued, “I was born in 1984, while they were in the U.S. conducting vaccine research. We soon moved to live near my father’s family in Marseille. When I was twelve, I went to boarding school in Switzerland while my parents were off trying to save the world.” The blonde’s voice became quiet. “They were killed in Sudan in 1999. My grandmother thought it would be good for me to stay at school for stability, and when she died…well, I had no one. I threw myself into my studies and graduated early. I started my studies at the University of Zurich thinking I would follow in my parents’ footsteps. That's where I was recruited as a doctoral candidate.”

Delphine looked over at Cosima, trying to gauge a reaction to all she had revealed. She was relieved, and perhaps a little surprised to read nothing but openness in the young woman’s face. Well, openness and fatigue. She glanced down at her wrist to see the time. “I'm sorry. It is so late, and I know you were in the lab early. Do you want to go? Or I could make up the couch if the wine is too much…”

Cosima set her wine glass down on the coffee table, and reached across to trace one of Delphine’s hands in hers. She had been enamoured with these hands from the first. She would find herself staring at her hands as the blonde would light a cigarette or take notes in the lab. “The wine isn't too much, but I don't want to go, and I don't want to sleep on the couch.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dam breaks.

Delphine didn't miss the timbre of Cosima's voice, nor could she deny the thrill that ran through her at the implication behind it. “Come then, but we will be sleeping. Neither of us is finished talking with one another, but I have an early meeting, and you need to go in for a check-up. And we haven't even begun to speak about Shay.”

The scientist had the good grace to look abashed at that, and started to speak before a graceful finger was placed against her lips. “Shhh. Not tonight. Come up to the loft, I think I have something you can sleep in.” 

Cosima allowed herself to be pulled up the stairs, where finally she saw a glimpse of the woman she once knew in the thick burgundy duvet and the black and white photos of various French landmarks. “Have a look in the bottom drawer there- I should have something. I am going to take a shower, but I won't be long.”

Pulling open the bottom drawer, Cosima smiled to herself as she spied her well-worn UC Berkley t-shirt. She’d wondered where that had gone. Rather than taking it for herself, she left it in place as she pulled out a pair of shorts and a shirt they'd gotten for attending a fall festival back in Minnesota. Cosima changed quickly, rolling the waistband of the shorts over for a better fit while she thought back to that time- the wind was cold, but the air was still warm and the light reflecting off of the yellow and red leaves that littered the quad made the blonde's hair seem all the more golden. They'd strolled through the festival, stopping for a pumpkin donut and apple cider, laughing and talking, learning one another.

There weren't many of these moments, seemingly stolen out of time, before shit got complicated. Before Leekie, before she knew for a fact that Delphine was her monitor. It was in these moments however, that she knew she was falling for the French beauty. It was impossible that she was seeing Delphine as any less than who she was- laughing at her terrible puns, asking her about her life in California, and even holding hands for a few stolen moments as they wound through the crowd. When Delphine had traced her thumb over the back of Cosima's hand before releasing it, Cosima could have sworn it was the single most erotic thing that she had experienced, and suddenly she didn't care if the woman was her monitor.  


She was brought out of her reverie by the sound of the water cutting off in the attached bathroom. She let out a low moan as she noted the way Delphine's willowy form was silhouetted against the frosted glass. She stood riveted as she watched her reach up and towel her hair before sliding shorts over long legs and shapely hips. She realized she was holding her breath when a tank top dropped over her head to settle on slight shoulders. Not wanting to be caught staring, she rushed over to the bed and pulled back the duvet, trying to seem chill. Still, she jumped when Delphine's voice called “Cosima? I have an extra toothbrush in here if you'd like.”

Cosima turned from her determined fluffing of pillows and couldn't help the strangled sound that escaped her lips as she saw Delphine. _Her_ Delphine- with a riot of curls, her tanktop sliding off of one shoulder, a smile on her lips. She blinked quickly at the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks before finally losing the fight and letting them fall as she strode across the room to the taller woman. She flung herself at her waist, clinging to her as she sobbed. 

Delphine drew them back toward the bed, settling Cosima against her as she continued to cry, rubbing small circles in her back, whispering soothing endearments in French, pressing kisses against her forehead. Slowly she felt the tension in the smaller woman's shoulders ease, and she settled back as Cosima put some space between them. It was clear she had something she needed to say. 

“I’ve been so scared, Delphine. Scared for my sisters, scared for Kira, scared for my health… but the thing that’s scared me the most…” her voice broke then, and her lip began to tremble as once again her eyes filled with tears. She cleared her throat and tried again, “the thing that scared me the most is that I lost you. That this fucking sacrifice we had to make- our relationship for the safety of my sisters- was for nothing! Sarah and Helena got taken by Castor and you were right in front of me, but you were just…gone.”

Delphine couldn't help the catch in her voice, as she regarded Cosima’s vulnerability and gathered Cosima back into her arms. “shhhh, love. I know. I know. I'm here.” 

She pulled the slight clone down until her head was resting on her breast, leg flung over hip. “See? We still fit. But you are so tired _mon coeur_. Tonight we will sleep and you can listen to my heart beat while I listen to you breathe, and we will make a new plan for tomorrow.”

Delphine noticed Cosima's breath turn deep and relaxed before she had even finished speaking. She smiled a sad smile at the hand clutched in her hair and traced the nautilus tattoo with her fingertips. How had she ever imagined she could go on without this source of strength and solace at her side? Perhaps the young scientist was right, as strong as they were individually, surely they were stronger together. And it was a good thing too, because the threads of this thing were so knotted up and the stakes so high that they'd both need to be at their best to defeat it. But for tonight, she would sleep in the arms of her unlikely love and leave the strategy for the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I'm at http://www.fangirllikewhoa.tumblr.com
> 
> Please let me know what you think- it is so odd writing into a vacuum.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning dawns with a new understanding.

The grey light of dawn had just begun to filter into the loft when Delphine opened her eyes. She began to stretch, but stilled as she realized the warmth cocooning her side was not the body pillow she usually wrapped herself around lately, but the form of her beloved clone. She breathed deeply, basking in the smaller woman’s familiar scent and warmth, listening closely to her breathing for any hitches or gasps. She was gratified to hear none, but knew that she and Cosima would have to come to terms regarding the younger woman’s care. She couldn’t help the flush of anger that rose within her as she thought of Cosima’s stubborn refusal to work on her own cure, to have her health monitored more closely. Stubbornness. She let out a quiet bark of laughter as she realized that this attribute, perhaps above all others, was the one personality trait that Cosima and her sisters shared. She wondered briefly at the possible genetic tie for that particular quality, for surely it couldn’t be a coincidence.

She slowly took stock, knowing she would have to soon prepare to face the new day. Last night had been revelatory for both of them, and she was sure that they both would need time to process all that had been exposed between them. As relieved as she was that Cosima seemed to share her feelings, she couldn’t help but feel more than a little discomfited by her knowledge of the closeness that had grown between Cosima and Shay. OK, perhaps a bit more than discomfited. She was suspicious and she was jealous, and though one came quite easy to her given her profession, she was absolutely unused to the latter feeling. In fact, it was an emotion that she had disparaged in previous lovers. She sighed and ran her hand through Cosima’s ‘locs as she acknowledged that this was the problem.

She didn’t want Cosima as simply a lover. Lovers were easy. They were like a sweet treat or a nice glass of wine at the end of a long day. Useful to their purpose and enjoyable, of course, but like other vices, replaceable if not disposable. But Cosima felt necessary to her in a way that was in turns thrilling and terrifying. It went against everything she knew of herself and all of her training- whether that be medical or operational. Subjects must be held at arms length, one must never forget that there was more to be done, a greater good to protect. And somehow Cosima had asked that of her as well. To love all of the Leda sisters, not just the individual. She closed her eyes at the sense of overwhelming responsibility that came over her. She would continue to protect the science, to find a cure, investigate DYAD and its many tentacles, but she knew that she was kidding herself if she thought she could ever sacrifice Cosima for the greater good. And she’d be damned if Cosima would sacrifice herself. 

She felt Cosima shift against her, and stiffened as she felt a warm hand slide up her side, under her tanktop to curl around her breast. She stopped breathing for a moment and luxuriated in the sensation until a callused thumb brushed over her rapidly hardening nipple. She gasped, and reached down to still the questing hand, letting it rest against her ribcage. She stole a glance down at Cosima, who for all the world still seemed to be sleeping. She began to rouse her, calling her name quietly, “Cosima, it is time to wake up. _Bonjour ma petit, réveiller_ …”

She watched as Cosima drifted toward consciousness, snuggling more tightly against her body, “I don’ wanna,” she groaned into Delphine’s arm. Pressing closer she seemed to recall where she was, who she was with. She looked up through her long lashes, tongue caught between her teeth in a smile. “G’morning Dr. Cormier.”

Delphine could not help the warmth that spread through her chest as she saw the laughter in the hazel eyes so close to her own. It had been a long while since they’d regarded her with anything other than hurt or hope, and she was pleased to be the recipient of such an easy smile. That seemed to be the way of things with them though, either incredibly easy, or incredibly difficult, with not much middle ground. She ducked her head to rest her forehead on Cosima’s briefly, brushing a quick kiss to her hairline before pulling away. 

“Good morning. I hate to wake you so very early, but I have a meeting at 9, and there are a few things we should discuss before I have to go.”

“It’s ok. I feel like I slept better last night than I have in weeks.” 

The clone yawned and stretched almost involuntarily, biting back a gasp as she realized where her hand was. “Oh, uh. I didn’t mean to grope you in your sleep. Sorry, not sorry.” She winked as she slid her hand out from under Delphine’s shirt. “Do you want me to make some coffee? I know you don’t like to talk unless you have a cup in your hand.”

“In a minute. I have missed holding you like this, _chérie_. And I’m not sure when I will have the opportunity to do it again.”

Cosima curled into Delphine, resting her head on her shoulder, reaching across her body to intertwine their fingers. Her voice sounded small when she asked, “So, this secret agent stuff… It’s like, important on a national security sort of scale, right? So where does that leave us?”

Delphine nodded briefly as she continued to trace the bones in Cosima’s slightly smaller hand. “We have to be careful. I need you to go on as you were, as much as possible. We cannot let on that we are anything more than associates, colleagues, as well as we are able. But Cosima, I need for you to keep working on a cure. I can only juggle so many things at once.”

Cosima nodded and raised up on an elbow so that she could meet the blonde’s gaze. “I know, and I’m sorry. I… I know I’ve been hiding from… well, hiding from everything really. I promise I will do my checkups, and provide samples at whatever interval you think is necessary, but I want you to be my doctor again. Nealon gives me the creeps.”

The blonde shook her head, curls bouncing, “I do not know if I can do that. I suppose I can do your blood draws, and we can set up weekly meetings to discuss the team’s findings. If you want Nealon off your case, I can bring in other doctors. There’s one based in Finland who I met briefly in Frankfurt. She seemed to have a good handle on the biology, and I think you would like her. She is also quite cheeky. I think she has been very disenchanted with DYAD, so perhaps you would have some things in common.”

Cosima tilted her head. “That all seems totally reasonable. But I do feel better about you doing my draws. You have never made me feel like an experiment or a slab of meat. You’ve always made me feel like a person. And Nealon…there’s something about the way he talks about Rachel that is just… it just squicks me, ya know?”

“I can’t say that I know this ‘squicks,’ but I trust your instincts. At the moment, what I need you to know, what I need you to believe in your… in your bones, is that I am on your side. Everything that I do, I do for you and for your sisters. Even when you don’t understand, even when you don’t agree. Even when it seems like I am working against you. I swear to you Cosima, if you believe nothing else, know that I would never let harm come to you. And I will do my utmost to protect your sisters as well. But you can’t ask me to put them above you. I won’t do it. I can’t. Think of Siobhan and Sarah. She had to give Helena to Castor even if she knew that it would break Sarah’s heart, make her so angry. Her back was to the wall and she chose her daughter. I can’t say I would have chosen differently if it were you at stake. There are things you sometimes have to do to protect the ones you love, terrible things sometimes. If that isn’t acceptable to you, we must go our separate ways, as hard as that might be.”

Cosima saw the truth of what Delphine was saying but felt herself rebel against it. “I don’t want that again. But you can’t leave me in the dark anymore Delphine. If you’re really working for me, for us, you have to let me in. You have to trust someone, too. Trust me.”

Delphine sat up and rolled out of bed and Cosima watched completely absorbed, as she knew that Delphine always felt like she could think best when she was moving, pacing, rolling her lab stool, whatever. She said it helped her neurons fire. “I do trust you, Cosima, but I also can’t put you in danger. There is a very real threat to me, if I were to be exposed. If anyone thought that you knew what I know, you could be in more danger than you already are as Leda. Let me think of how best to handle this. I promise that we will find a way to communicate, to see one another. I’m just not sure what that will be yet.”

She looked at the clock on the wall and swore quietly. “I have to get ready. Maybe you could make some coffee and I think I have maybe some bread for toast, or some yoghurt. I will come to see you for your blood draw this afternoon in your lab.” She bent to pull a scrap of paper and a pencil out of her bedside table. “I need you to memorize this number. If you ever need me, you can text or call me here, and it will not be traceable on my end. I would appreciate it if you would let me check your phone daily as well, or I can teach you how to do it.”

Cosima nodded and pulled herself from the warmth of Delphine’s bed to take the scrap of paper. “OK, I can do that. And I’m going to start apartment hunting today. I can’t stay at Felix’s forever. Maybe when I find a place, you could come over sometimes?"

Delphine smiled, “Yes, I would like to find a way to do that. Or perhaps I can get a safehouse set up. Things are heating up quickly, and I am going to need a plan B if things get too hot.”

“I can’t believe I am in love with Jane Bond,” Cosima said, smiling, “this is so hot.”

Delphine swatted at Cosima as she sashayed down the stairs. This was so like the girl she had known, laughing in the face of danger. Turning to put on what she had begun to think of as her armor she tried not to think too hard about the dangers they would be facing, or of the things Cosima was still hiding from her. Instead she focused on the fact that Cosima had said she was in love with her, present tense. She allowed herself a moment of relief before she picked up her flat iron and prepared to put her game face on.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Repairing allegiances.

The keypad trilled its little three-note tune and Cosima tried her best not to look up expectantly. She was glad for her restraint when she saw that it was just a lab tech. She bent back down over the slide she was prepping and tried to hide the goofy smile she’d been wearing all day. Hell, even Scott had called her on it when she came wandering in earlier than she had in weeks.

“Hey, you’re here early.” He squinted at her clothes, “and not that I usually notice things like this or anything, but aren’t those the same clothes you were wearing yesterday?”

Cosima looked down and debated her answer, deciding to go noncommittal. “I mean, I don’t think I stink or anything.” 

“No, you don’t stink. You always smell the same, like one of those hippy stores that sell crystals and candles and like, chakra powder or whatever.”

“Chakra powder? That’s not a thing Scott.”

“You don’t know that. It might be a thing. So, you stay at Shay’s again or what?”

Cosima’s smile faltered for a second at that. “Noooo, not Shay’s.”

Scott opened his mouth as though he would comment further, but Cosima stopped him. “I got sucked into some drama with Sarah and Felix. I didn’t have time to change before I needed to come in, Delphine wants to run a full panel today, something about me being on some trajectory that she also noticed with one of us in Poland.”

“Oh, so you decided to come and be the science again did you? It’s about time! I have been worried about you; you haven’t even asked me how it’s going looking for the synthetic sequences. And we missed you on game night.” 

Cosima smiled at her colleague-turned-friend’s, concern, “How’s it going looking for the synthetic sequences, Scott?”

Scott crossed his arms defensively and glared at her over his glasses, “Well, it’s not going very well, but Dr. Cormier bought me a new Agilent Mx3005 real-time PCR instrument and a PacBio RS II. It’s like Christmas! I can watch the polymerase as it performs sequencing through synthesis. I’m hopeful that things will go faster when those come in next week. I’d asked for them a few weeks ago, and this morning she sent me the confirmation that they were coming. I thought it was a long shot, but maybe she liked my last report.”

Cosima’s pulse quickened and she delighted in the jolt she got whenever one of her team got a breakthrough, or had a new idea, especially someone who worked as hard as Scott did. “What was your last report?”

“Well, I took some of the data that the team in Finland sent me and noticed that there seemed to be a deviation in the parabola that usually tracks with the level of prion activity. I’m hoping it might correlate with a period of dormancy, and if that’s so, maybe we could figure out a way to keep the disease dormant, like permanently.”

Cosima started with a high five, but tucked her body under Scott’s arm to catch him in a bear hug. She squeezed him tightly while he patted her back awkwardly. “Dude! You are amazing. Nice catch. I didn’t even know you were working on the pathology!”

Scott shuffled backward toward his workstation, and Cosima smiled inwardly at his discomfort. “Well, I felt like I needed to keep my eyes on things. With both you and Dr… Delphine out of the lab so often, I was worried that something would get missed.”

Cosima found her way back to her stool and regarded her friend. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone. I was… scared? I guess. I promise though, no more hiding. I’m here to work, and I’m going to do my checkups. I talked to Delphine and she said she would even get me a new doc if I want.”

“That is awesome. Something about Dr. Nealon squicks me out.””

Cosima missed the keypad sounding as she shouted, “That’s what *I* said!” over the top of her monitor.

She nearly jumped out of her skin as a soft voice behind her replied, “What did you say?”

Closing her eyes against the surge of pleasure that shot through her at the sound of the soft French accent, Cosima took a moment to compose herself before turning to meet Delphine’s curious gaze. “Oh, Nealon squicks Scott too. There's like, mutual squickage.”

Delphine clucked her tongue against her teeth as she donned a lab coat and gloves. “I will be in touch with Dr. Laine to see if I can tempt her to come. She would be a great asset to your case. Perhaps Dr. Nealon needs to be transferred as well.” She pulled a stool over and prepared a small tray. “Now, it's time to do your blood draw. Are you ready?”

Cosima shed her lab coat as well as the long loose knit sweater she had layered over a tank top. She could not help noticing the way Delphine's hazel eyes seemed to darken, nor the way her breathing seemed to become deeper and more deliberate as she disrobed. If she intentionally slowed her movements and allowed her tank top to ride up purposely, well, she was only human. “I…” she coughed against the roughness in her throat, “I'm, um, I’m ready. I even drank a bunch of water so you wouldn't have to work too hard for the stick”

Cradling Cosima's left hand in her right, Delphine murmured, “Mmmm, that is very good.” She gently prodded the veins in the crook of Cosima's elbow with warm fingers, sliding them over the tender skin. She carefully tied a tourniquet around her biceps and prepared the needle and vial. “This shouldn't hurt too badly,” she said as she met the clone’s eyes. “Are you ready, or do you want to look away?”

Cosima turned her head and asked, “just talk to me while you do it and maybe I won't notice.” 

She felt Delphine’s fingers, warm through the latex of the gloves, and tried to relax her arm. _“Ce me sera pas mal du tout”_

And, just as promised, the needle slipped into her vein with no more than a pinch. She watched her blood fill the vial sluggishly, and raised her eyes to meet Delphine’s. “How often are we going to need to do this?”

“I would like to do draws weekly until we get a baseline again.” She said this with no reproach in her voice, but Cosima couldn’t help but to sink back against her chair. “And then, we will see if it continues to be necessary that often or if we could try to stretch them out."

Delphine applied a cotton swab to the wound and taped it down in quick, practiced moves. “There, all finished.” She stripped off her gloves, and briefly held both of Cosima’s hands in hers before she seemed to remember where they were and let go smoothly, sliding her hands into the pockets of the lab coat.

“How are you feeling? Any shortness of breath, weakness, fatigue?” Delphine knew that this was supposed to only be a blood draw, but couldn’t help asking the rest, and found her hands reaching out to trace the smaller woman’s submandibular glands, letting her fingers slide up and under her ear, tangling in the soft short hairs there. She noticed no swelling, and her temperature seemed normal, just a notch cooler than her own.

She sighed and released Cosima, “Please take your temperature daily and log it into the database. We also should do a urninalysis, but you can run your own samples, no?

Cosima thought back to her sister Alison, whose pee she’d tried to steal. God, what had she been thinking?! “Yeah, I can run my own. I’ll keep the database up to date. You can trust me.”

Delphine stepped back, professional mask in place. “I hope so. I will do my best to talk with Dr. Laine first thing tomorrow morning. I should be able to catch her before she leaves the clinic for the day.”

She crossed the room to speak to Scott. “Your new equipment should be in by Tuesday, Scott. They will be set up by the manufacturer and tested, but they should be ready for you by Wednesday or Thursday.””

“Thank you Dr. Cormier, this should really speed up my work.”

Delphine smiled, and felt it growing even wider as Scott blushed and looked away. “Scott. Delphine, please. Call me Delphine. And you’re welcome. I’m sorry if I ever made it seem like your work is not my priority. It is.”

She turned back to Cosima, “Cosima, could you please come to my office in an hour? I would like to discuss further the continuation of your care and what you might feel comfortable disclosing to Dr. Laine.”

Cosima was unsuccessful in hiding the surprise from her features. “Wow. Ok. I appreciate that. I’ll be up in a bit.”

Cosima buried herself in her work for the next hour, running her urinalysis and inputing the values in the database. She finally stood, stretching, and gesturing to Scott, “I’m going to go up and see what Delphine wants to talk about. Want me to bring you some coffee on the way back? I’ll even go out for it instead of feeding you the lab sludge.””

“Nah, that’s ok. I’m going to finish up here and then I need to go and take Denise to the vet. Her asthma is acting up again.”

“OK dude, well I’ll see you tomorrow. I hope Denise is ok.” 

“Thanks Cosima. See you tomorrow?””

“Definitely.”

Cosima hit the door with her hip and scanned her passcard at the elevator. She hit the button for Delphine’s floor, and waggled her fingers at the security guards as she stepped off. “Hey guys.”

They didn’t speak to her, they never did. For the first time she wondered if they were DYAD or if they too were undercover, like Delphine, or if she were truly alone in this. Well, not alone anymore, Cosima thought, not if Cosima had anything to do with it, not if they could find a way to build on the tenuous trust that they were reconstructing between them. First, she supposed, she would have to show Delphine that she was committed to her cure again. The rest would come in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming on this ride. I'll try to continue to update weekly or so. I've got to lay down some exposition to get this plot moving forward, so bear with me. 
> 
> Come visit my ballpit of denial on Tumblr: fangirllikewhoa.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trust is a two-way street.
> 
> (So, obviously this is AU but I am trying to incorporate events from the season and they may be a bit out of order. If this seems stupidly confusing to you, let me know. It makes sense in my head. I am also trying to fix some of the continuity issues I felt were in S3... holy dropped plotlines Batman!)

Cosima was stopped at the threshold of Delphine’s office by a woman she didn’t recognize. Tall, auburn haired and power suited, she gave an air of command that even the armed security guards lacked.

Though she was quite beautiful, her voice came out cold and commanding,“I’m sorry, did you have an appointment with Dr. Cormier?”

Cosima pulled up short of her desk sputtering, “Um, yeah, she asked me to come up right about now. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that Dr. Cormier had a new secretary.”

“Executive Assistant. I’m Brittany. Please have a seat and I will see if Dr. Cormier can fit you in. She’s very busy.” Her eyes trailed over Cosima, “and you are….”

“Cosima Niehaus. Trust me, she’s expecting me.” She tried not to sound too snippy but wasn’t liking the vibe that Brittany was putting off.

“You should wear your tag so that it is visible to the security staff Ms. Niehaus. I’ll ring Dr. Cormier, please do have a seat.”

Cosima didn’t try very hard to hide her annoyance as she flopped into the barrel chair in the lobby area. She fiddled with her ID, muttering as she pulled out the lanyard so it would lay over her scarf. She listened in while Brittany picked up the phone, “Dr. Cormier, I have a Ms. Cosima Niehaus to see you, though I do not see her on your agenda. Very well, Dr. Cormier.”

Trying not to skip as she was motioned forward, Cosima pushed through the frosted glass doors of what she couldn’t help but still think of as Dr. Leekie’s office. Delphine sat behind her huge desk, jacket thrown over the back of the chair. The rest of the office was sparse, no energy farms for Delphine. She did notice however, the ammonite fossils displayed on a glass shelf, tastefully lit. It was the only clue to the Delphine she knew in the cold professional environment, and she doubted anyone else would understand their significance beyond their aesthetically pleasing coiled shape.

Delphine looked up from her computer and smiled when she saw Cosima, though the emotion didn’t quite meet her eyes. Mostly she looked tired, Cosima thought, and maybe she had even lost some weight, or perhaps it was the straight hair that made her jawline seem more prominent. She wondered how much sleep she was getting, whether she was remembering to eat anything other coffee and yogurt and red wine. Who would even notice except her? 

“Hey Dr. Cormier, since when do you rate a secretary?”

“Executive Assistant, and her name is Brittany. I had her sent over from a temp company,” she looked pointedly at Cosima, “to help me out for a bit. She is good. I’m glad to have a little help that doesn’t talk back.” 

Cosima grinned, trapping her tongue between her teeth. “Well, I am not going to apologize. You knew I was cheeky when you hired me.”

Delphine smiled fully this time before settling her features. “I suppose that is true. Please, sit. I see that you’ve been filling in the database, thank you. I had the lab rush your blood sample, and Cosima, I am not pleased with your white count. I’m afraid you will experience a flare very soon.”

Resisting the urge to sigh, Cosima stood and began to pace, hands flailing, “I know. But I’m not bringing Kira in here. And I can’t ask Sarah to put her through another marrow donation, not with everything that went down the last time they were here. Scott said he might have a lead on a period of dormancy seen in the European line? Maybe we could look at that.”

“Yes, I have seen Scott’s report, and I am very pleased with the possible avenue this may open up. But Cosima, I’m not sure you have the kind of time we will need to preempt your next flare of the disease. You saw the reports from Jennifer Fitzsimmons. There is no guarantee that you will recover as well as you did this last time. In fact, the mere fact that you have recovered as well as you have is a bit unexplainable. If I thought for a moment you would consent to it, I’d do a much more thorough exam.” She held up her hand to still the protest she could see building in Cosima’s body language. “We don’t have to, I know you hate all of this. I’m just saying that medically, it would help me to help you if we could get a CT scan of your lungs and uterus. If you’re willing to do that, I can schedule it whenever you like. I can even be in there if you like, I know you don’t like small spaces. But…” she said, waving her hand “that is up to you.”

Cosima sank again into the chair, appearing small and afraid. “I know. It’s just….I can almost feel it in my chest. I can breathe ok, and I’m not coughing, but I feel like it’s there you know? Lurking.”

Delphine crossed out from behind her desk to sit opposite the smaller woman. “Then you know what we must do. We must face it. Scientifically. It isn’t a boogie-man that lurks in your chest. It is a disease. A prion disease. We know that you are at risk due to a mutation or fold in your PRNP gene. Scott is still working to see if he can figure out which allele codes for your variation. You know as well as I do that a gene therapy is the only way we will be able to cure you, but we can still work on slowing the proteins down. We should also look at your sister Allison to see if there is something she has done or is doing that is preventing the prion to attack her organs-“

Cosima balked at that, “No! Leave Ali out of this.” 

Delphine sighed, “Cosima! Allison _came to me_ and offered anything she could do to help you. Why are you so intent on saving your sisters, and yet you won’t allow them to save you?! I’m not asking for anything invasive, just a talk about her lifestyle and habits, perhaps more than her monitor has provided, and a blood draw. That’s it. If she wants to opt out, she may.”

Cosima pulled her knees up under her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs. She closed her eyes. “OK, if Ali wants to do it, that’s fine. And I know I should be thinking about this scientifically. I know that the only way we beat this is in the lab. But I keep thinking about the others. I wake up at night in a cold sweat thinking about the autopsy we did. But in my dreams its me, and your hands are in my chest, and I’m just… I’m just science. I’m not even…”

Her voice broke, and she closed her eyes against hot tears, but when she looked up there was a fiery intensity that Delphine was not expecting. “And you know what? I might be scared, but more than scared I am SO ANGRY. I am fucking FURIOUS at Duncan, at DYAD.” She stood and began pacing, hands flailing, dreads bouncing, “They had NO RIGHT to play God like that! I am a human _being_ not their twisted experiment. And my sisters! Jesus, what did they even _do_ to make Helena that way? And now we have what? Like, psychopathic rapist brothers?” She stopped in front of Delphine. “I know you want me to think about this scientifically, but I have to say, being around here has really made me rethink science as the good guy, Delphine. Science has taken so much from all of us. Project Leda, Project Castor…” she finally deflated and sat down, her voice barely a whisper, “We’re not projects. We’re people.”

Reaching across and grasping Cosima’s hand tightly in her own Delphine waited until Cosima met her eyes. “I know. That is why I do this. Science is my first love, and I will not see it perverted in this way. Take all that anger, all of that passion, Cosima, and help me. We can win this. But I need you with me. I need to know you’re going to try. That you’ll take my help and the help of your sisters, and Scott, and whatever allies we find. I need you healthy so that we can work on the rest as well. This goes deeper than you even know.”

Cosima took a steadying breath and asked, “There’s something I need to tell you, but I am starting to feel all closed in in here and my blood sugar is tanked. Can we take a walk down to the coffee shop maybe?”

Delphine smiled at Cosima, proud of the way she caught on so quickly to the dangers that seemed to lurk everywhere, including prying eyes and ears, “Sure, let me just tell Brittany that I’ll be out for a bit.”

Cosima could not help the snarky retort, “Right, _Brittany_.”

They rode the elevator down in silence, both of them blinking hard at the bright late afternoon winter sun that was rapidly fading to the horizon. They fell into step with one another and walked down the block until Delphine hip-checked Cosima. “Why do you say her name like that?” Cosima looked at her questioningly until she mimicked, “ _Brittany._ ”

Cosima laughed, “Oh, it’s probably a California thing. You have no idea how many Brittany’s I grew up with, and they all were just… a certain type of girl that seems to only grow there. You know, boobs out to here,” she gestured, “perfect hair, kinda… vapid.”

Delphine looked down at her, unimpressed. “Cosima, really! Brittany is a very respected agent, sent to help protect me. I assure you she isn’t vapid. She’s very smart!”

“Well, I was right on about the other points,” she said waggling her eyebrows. Before Delphine could respond, Cosima grabbed her arm to steer them into the coffee shop and ordered them both Americanos as well as paninis. Delphine found them a table near the back where she could see the rest of the café easily.

Cosima sat down with their food, and was gratified when Delphine’s eyes lit up over the sandwiches. “I got you turkey and gruyere. When did you eat last?” 

Delphine chewed and swallowed sheepishly, “I do not remember. Yesterday, dinner?”

Cosima nodded, “OK, so listen. I will try to take better care of myself, but that goes both ways.” She waited until Delphine nodded. “I can talk here right? I have something to tell you, and I don’t want you to yell.”

Putting down her sandwich, Delphine raised an eyebrow, “I have never yelled at you, not once. Even when I wanted to throw things, I have resisted. You can talk here, but keep your voice down. If we were followed, the espresso machine and other customers will make it too hard to overhear.”

Cosima swallowed, hoping beyond hope that she was doing the right thing and that Delphine was finally being honest with her. She took a deep breath, “Ethan Duncan gave Kira a book. The Island of Dr. Moreau. It has some kind of code inside, and Scott thinks that Rachel knows it. We have tried everything we know, but can’t figure it out. Apparently she’s been painting the same symbols.” She looked at the blonde expectantly, watching the emotions play over her face. Finally she nodded.

“Ok. Thank you for telling me this. Who knows about the book?”

Cosima held out a hand to tick off her fingers. “Kira, Sarah, me, Scott, Mrs. S., Felix…” She tried not to drop her gaze as she saw Delphine’s eyelid twitch when she kept naming people, “and, um, maybe Shay.”

 _“Merde!”_ Delphine softly swore and took a swig of her drink before she continued, “I… ok. I will need to think about this. You know where I stand with her. I will have to find out more, get some people on it. She isn’t what she seems Cosima, and the timing… it’s just too convenient. I thought I’d have some time to gather more intelligence before she became a threat, but you moved so fast…”

Cosima countered, “Are we really going to do this here? She hasn’t done anything! I met her on a dating app for fuck’s sake- how in the world could she be…”

Delphine cut her off. “That’s it though, Cosima, you don’t know _what_ she is... and yet you brought her home as though it doesn't matter!” 

She winced as Cosima responded hotly, “I didn’t know what you were either, not really! Listen, I’m not going to apologize for doing what I had to do to forget, to move on. It’s what you wanted.”

Dephine’s words came out in a harsh whisper, “It was _not_ what I wanted, Cosima. It is what I _had_ to do. I never imagined for a moment that you would be in someone else’s bed in a matter of days.”

Cosima bit back a retort as she saw the pain in Delphine’s eyes. This was not how or where she had hoped to have this conversation. She wasn’t ready to get into it all- how she felt completely abandoned by Delphine. How good it felt to feel wanted by someone with no motive… well, she thought she had no motive. “Fuck. Fuuuuck, fuck, fuck.” She drummed her closed fists on the table. “Can we please not do this here, now?”

Delphine dipped her head in concession, glad for the reprieve herself. She found herself not ready to deal with the reality of Cosima with another woman, especially with only caffeine as a shield to her feelings. “Fine. But soon.”

Her thoughts were interrupted by the buzz of Cosima’s phone in her bag. She fished it out and Delphine could clearly read “Shay” on the screen. Of course. Cosima looked up, “Shit! It’s Shay. We’re supposed to have dinner tonight.”

“Take it. She can’t know of our suspicions.” Delphine closed her eyes against the softness in Cosima’s voice as she answered the call, confirming plans to meet later in the evening.

“When you are finished, text me. I need to know that you are safe.””

“Aren’t you having me monitored anyway?””

“Yes. But they can’t see through walls.”

“I’m not going to her place tonight. We’ll just have dinner.”

Delphine sat back, and Cosima could see that her mask was back in place, her emotions carefully controlled as she busied herself cleaning up the table. “I am not asking you to do anything more than to be careful, to let me know you are safe.”

“Fine, I’ll text you. I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

“Right.” She watched as Cosima gathered her things and stood. “Thank you for trusting me with the information about the book.”

She nodded and turned to go, but turned back before she took a step. “I do, you know. Trust you. We’re going to get through this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always for reading. 
> 
> I blog (and reblog) over at fangirllikewhoa.tumblr.com It is mostly gorgeous gifs of our darling duo, but also some analysis and fandom wank.


	7. Chapter 7

Cosima had plenty of time to think as she walked downtown to the restaurant. The sun was nearly set and the night was cold, so she wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck and flipped up the lapels of her purple coat. She wondered briefly if she could catch a glimpse of her monitor if she stopped short and checked out her reflection in the glass storefront windows like they did in the spy movies. Perhaps she shouldn’t call them monitors at this point, as she wasn’t sure if they worked for the CIA or for DYAD. How was it possible that this had gotten more complicated instead of less? Now that Delphine had come clean with her, the Frenchwoman seemed to be the only solid ground on shifting sands. But it was equally clear that Delphine didn’t exactly have all of the factions’ intentions on lock.

She groaned and shook her head to clear it as she entered the Thai restaurant, craning her neck to find Shay who was already seated in a booth near the bar. She still found it hard to believe that Shay was anything more than what she claimed to be. Their time was always so easy- no expectations, just long talks, great sex and good food. She smiled as Shay’s blue eyes met hers and she raised her hand in a little wave. As she approached the booth she unwound the scarf from her neck and shucked her coat, folding them over and sliding them into the booth before her.

“Hey, sorry I’m late. Work stuff.” She leaned in and brushed a kiss to Shay’s cheek before she slid into the booth.

“It’s ok, I figured you might have gotten lost under the microscope again. I hope it’s ok, but I ordered for us; I was starving. I got you some Miso and got us tofu pad thai to share.”

Cosima smiled, “That sounds great, especially the soup. I am freezing! I have got to get a car if I’m going to stay here.” She rubbed her fingers together briskly to warm them. “How was your day?”

“Pretty chill really. I only had a couple of clients, went to the bookstore, went grocery shopping since _someone_ wants coffee in the morning instead of the delicious nutrient rich smoothies I offer.”

“Hey! I like the smoothies. I’d just like them better with a shot of espresso.” She ducked her head at Shay’s reproachful look. 

“Yeah, I know, everything in moderation. Caffeine is a diuretic, I should drink more water, electrolytes, free radicals…” She was gratified to see Shay smile as she gave her a hard time.

“You’re very funny. I wasn’t even planning to give you a lecture about it. I’ll have you know I bought you some coffee for when you stay over. ”

At that Cosima’s smile faded and her hands dropped to the table. She was grateful when their waiter approached with their soup. She wrapped her hands around the bowl and blew across its surface, avoiding Shay’s eyes, hoping she hadn’t noticed the change in her demeanor.

Shay reached across the table and trailed her fingertips along Cosima’s arm. “Hey, you ok? What’s this about ‘if I’m going to stay here’ and now the glum look?”

Spinning her rings on her fingers, Cosima tried to think of a response. “Well, you know, work is kinda just, it’s really hard right now. And I’m not getting as much of my dissertation research done as I thought I would. I don’t know. I mean, maybe it’s because it’s so fucking cold here. I just miss Cali, I miss my friends, I miss my…” She found herself choked up, surprised at the truth in her words though they had been meant to distract Shay, “I miss my mom. And my dog. We have this really great dog, you know? His name is Oz, and he’s amazing, and I just miss him.” She sighed, “I’m not really going anywhere. DYAD pretty much owns me now. I’m just in a funk.”

Shay raised an eyebrow at that. “Listen, I’ve had jobs where it felt like I was their property. It’s part of the reason I started doing holistic healing on my own. I like the freedom. Don’t lose yourself in your work Cosima, it isn’t worth it. Nothing is.”

Cosima regarded the pretty blonde across from her, searching her face for any hint of duplicity, but didn’t find anything but sincerity in her deep blue eyes. “Yeah, but my work _is_ who I am. I mean, not totally, but I’m just… I’m really invested, you know?”

“Oh, I get it geek girl. I look over at you sometimes and it’s like smoke is going to come pouring out of your ears because you’re thinking so hard. I’ve never seen someone whose mind is literally always going. Maybe that’s why you like pot. You just want to slow it down a little.”

Cosima considered this for a moment, “Yeah, that’s really a lot of it. I sometimes feel like I can focus better when I’m stoned. I let myself consider things that maybe I wouldn’t otherwise. Good call.”

Their waiter brought the rest of their meal and Cosima found herself considering Shay. She felt torn about Delphine’s earlier comments and the woman she saw before her. Delphine had told her that it was important not to change her behavior- that no one must suspect that she knew about Delphine’s work. But at the same time she could not forget the look of hurt on Delphine’s face earlier this evening when she had defended Shay. She also couldn’t in good conscience continue sleeping with Shay as though nothing had changed. She wasn’t sure exactly where she and Delphine stood romantically, but she knew that door wasn’t closed and she couldn’t forget how good it had felt to wake up in her arms. Where that left all of them, she wasn’t sure, but she hated the idea of causing either of them pain. 

She picked up the check and looked over at Shay, determined to give her as much truth as she was able. “Hey, I’m not trying to be shitty, but I can’t stay over tonight. I have a lot of things I need to figure out, and um, I think maybe I’d like to Skype with my mom.”

Shay reached across the table to squeeze Cosima’s hand. “That sounds like a great idea. I’ve said from the beginning, and I mean it- I have no expectations here. I like hanging out with you. I think we have a good time together. You’re a real force to reckon with Cosima Niehaus, and I’ll take what I can get, whatever that looks like, whatever feels right. Call your mom, I’ll bet she misses you too.”

Cosima’s face split into a grin and relief flooded her. “Thanks Shay. Really.”

“Do you want a ride? I am happy to drop you off at the loft.”

“Nah, thanks though. I’m going to cab it back to work first, I left my laptop there like an idiot.”

“Okay. Well, try not to get sucked back into the black holes or whatever.” She dropped a soft kiss against Cosima’s lips. “I’ll see you around.”

“See you around.”

She watched Shay slide into her bug and drive away and pulled out her phone to text Delphine.  


Done with dinner. Can I come over?

She was surprised at how fast the reply came.

I’m in my office. Come here.

The elevator ride up to Delphine’s office was a long one. Not for the first time she wondered about the circumstances that moved the young doctor from the run-down lab in the old section up to the penthouse office suite. First Leekie was killed, she assumed by Topside, and then Rachel tried to turn Sarah into an unwilling science project and got a pencil to her eye for her trouble. Cosima attempted to not feel guilty for her part in Rachel’s current state, but couldn’t help the pangs of regret she had, especially to hear Scott talk about the ice queen and her apparent vulnerability now. She wondered how much the CIA had to do with what had transpired so far, or whether Delphine was had really just found herself at the reins of a project gone out of control.

The doors to the elevator slid open. She was pleased to see that Brittany had gone for the day, but the doors to Delphine’s office were still locked. She tried her keycard to no avail and raised her hand to knock gently on the door.

The door opened slowly, and she found herself sucking in a breath at the sight of the tall doctor. She had shed her suit jacket and was wearing a sleeveless black silk shell. Somehow the dark color didn’t serve to make her look more severe, it simply highlighted her pale and delicate features. She followed the v-neck with her eyes and found herself mesmerized by the necklace that sat just at the juncture of the taller woman’s clavicles. Unconsciously she licked her lips.

When her eyes flicked back up to meet the hazel of Delphine’s she was surprised at the heat she saw there. Before she could take more than a single step inside the office she found herself pressed back against the door, lusciously full lips covering her own. The hands that pressed into her were rough with purpose, one squeezing her hip the other twisted in the back of her hair holding her head steady while her lips continued to be plundered. She opened her mouth to meet the blonde’s seeking tongue with her own, and it was in this moment that everything in her life felt blindingly, perfectly right again.

She reached her hand up to tangle into Delphine’s hair and pressed her hips forward snugging them against the taller woman’s. She slid her hand up the back of Delphine’s blouse tracing her fingers up her spine and felt her knees weaken at the shudder that ran through the taller woman. It had been so long since it had been like this, since before the disease had started to ravage her lungs. Her body needed no reminders though, her muscle memory knew this woman, knew exactly where to trace her fingers, how to stroke her tongue.

Her abdomen clenched at the feel of Delphine’s hand tracing over her ass, digging in to the muscle, pulling her into the cradle of her hips. Her head fell back against the door as Delphine’s lips traced down the column of her throat. She gasped as she felt teeth nipping at her earlobe and a whisper in her ear _“tu es à moi_. Mine.”

Cosima nodded her head in agreement; she was sure she had lost the power of speech. She traced her hands up the ladder of the blonde’s ribs to cup her breasts, groaning at the feel of French lace at her fingertips. She gently traced the slope of her lover’s breasts, the peaks of her nipples. She was reaching down to slide the silk off of the taller woman’s body when she heard the opening strains of “London Calling” coming from the direction of her purse which she’d dropped at her feet. She stepped back slightly to mutter, “It’s Sarah, she can wait.”

Delphine put her hands on her shoulders and stepped back more fully, gulping air. “No, you should answer. Things have been moving quickly, and we can’t afford to miss anything important.” Cosima took some consolation in seeing that the blonde was breathless and disheveled and looked as rattled as she was. She picked the phone up out of her bag and swiped to answer.

“Cos. Hey, listen. I need you to come over for a family meeting. Allison is bringing Helena and we’re going to make a plan. I’m tired of being on my heels here, and I can feel those Castor fuckers breathing down my neck. The key to this whole bloody thing is in those damned nursery rhymes. We need to get Rachel to translate for us, and we need to figure out what we have to bargain with.”

“Uh, Okay… okay. You mean, like, now?” Cosima looked up at Delphine who was nodding at her. “I can be there in twenty.”

“Great. And listen, just you alright? I don’t trust anybody but family right now. I gotta go, Alison is calling in on the other line. See you in twenty.”

Cosima looked up at Delphine regretfully. “I have to go. Emergency meeting of Clone Club. Sarah wants to figure out how to make a deal with Rachel to translate the book. She says she doesn’t trust anybody but Leda.”

Delphine’s face remained impassive. “This, after she knows full well that I saved her, saved all of you from Ferdinand.” She sighed. “Fine. Meet with your sisters. Let me know what they decide. I agree that we need to put pressure on Rachel and get the book translated as soon as we are able. It might provide us some much-needed leverage.” She looked down at Cosima, “I’m sorry to put you in the middle of this. I am hoping that I will be able to prove to your sisters that I am trustworthy. I’m not sure what else I can do to justify myself to them.”

She strode across the room to her desk, sliding her jacket over her shoulders, picking up her briefcase. “I need to go too. I am meeting with a contact about a safe-house. I am hoping to have it in place by the end of the week. I will let you know as soon as I know.”

She stopped and looked over the expanse of her office at the clone before looking down to fumble in her bag. “Thank you for coming back here tonight. I…” she looked up at the clone, “I am not good with jealousy. It is a foreign emotion to me, and I am struggling with it. I have been promised a dossier on Shay, and am hopeful my contact will bring it tonight. Then perhaps we will know if there is more to worry about than how I compare.”

Cosima couldn’t let that remark slide and crossed the room quickly, “Hey!” When Delphine didn’t look up, she tried again, gently lifting the blonde’s chin until their eyes met. “Listen to me. There is no comparison. None.” She leaned in for a gentle kiss. “I will wait to hear from you. I’ll be here tomorrow hard at work down in the lab if you need me, but otherwise I’ll try not to contact you. I'm still trying to figure out what's okay here, and what's not.”

Delphine shook her head and cleared her throat. “Yes, fine. I will make time to see you tomorrow. I would like to be a part of whatever you and the sisters come up with for Rachel. I may have information that is helpful to you, or be able to flex some DYAD muscle if needed.”

They walked together to the door, but before it opened Cosima pulled Delphine into a quick embrace. “Thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us, all that you still do for us. I’ll see you tomorrow.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get complicated as Delphine meets with her contact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With many thanks for your patience and encouragement.

Delphine left the Infiniti in the garage of her condo, took the elevator up followed by the stairs down. She lost herself in the flow of businessmen and women making their way through the early evening rush. She stopped to pick up a bus, followed by another going the opposite direction before finally settling into the seat on the subway. She was reasonably sure she hadn’t been followed in weeks, but knew that she could not get complacent. She was glad to have the opportunity to meet with her contact, not only to set up a safe-house, but also to provide a more thorough debriefing than she felt comfortable with over electronic media.

Her train pulled into the station and she took the escalator up into the frigid night. It didn’t take her but a few moments to spot the black Lincoln town car in the lot. Glancing around, she made her way over to her contact. She heard the snick of the locks disengaging as she approached. She slid into the seat and looked over at her contact.

“Agent Salvatore. Thank you for your assistance.”

“Delphine, could you please try to call me Bobbi? Really. Or Roberta if you must.”

The blonde smiled and nodded. It still seemed strange to her how deeply her cover affected her, she rarely remembered to bei informal anymore. She imagined she would end up spending quality time with a company psychiatrist after this was all over. Of late she was having trouble with the juxtaposition of all of the truths of the person she knew herself to be and the truths of her cover. She sometimes found herself reciting a list mentally. She was a doctor. She was an agent. She loved Cosima. But it was never as easy as all that. 

She was an agent, but of a black ops division of the CIA. She was a doctor but was trained to kill in all manner of creative ways, and was prepared to do so if necessary. She was emphatically against eugenics, but could not help but be intrigued by the possibilities that the science produced by Neolution and DYAD were creating. She loved Cosima, but that very emotion put the clone and her sisters in danger. Somehow she had to find the balance between, the places where she was both, was all things at once. It was the only way to keep them all safe.

“I’m sorry Bobbi. It has been a long week. There have been many new developments.”

Bobbi laughed- an open, expansive sound. “I’m glad someone is getting intel. I’ve been slinging drinks for hipsters. I haven’t gotten anything useful at all. The good news is that at least when I wasn’t at the bar, I was able to get the information about Shay for you. Shay Davydov.” She motioned to a briefcase on the back seat. “The dossier is in there. It was more than I thought initially. Your suspicions were spot on. It took some digging, but we have tied her to a contractor. The same contractor that we believe is controlling the Castor project.”

Delphine felt a cold trickle of fear trace down her spine. “Castor. I can’t…” She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers against her temple. This was worse than she had allowed herself to contemplate. She felt Bobbi’s hand pat her knee.

“Hey. Listen, I’m not going to just drop that on you. Let’s go inside so we can talk.” The black sedan pulled into a gravel driveway, which led to an old carriage house. It was in shadow, the huge Victorian house it had served acting as cover from the street. “We’ve got people in the main house- retired, but willing to come back on the job and keep an eye on things for you. You have the use of the carriage house. We outfitted it for you. It’s got secure telephone and data, change of clothes, go-bag, weapon and ammo. Come on inside.” Bobbi tried to get Delphine to smile. “I even picked out the curtains!”

The joke fell flat and Delphine’s boots crunched across the gravel to the small building. She was pleased to see that it had only a few high transom windows and that the doors had been reinforced with steel. She watched Bobbi use both keys and a keypad to gain entry.

The carriage house was tidy, all open floor-plan and rich wood. It was decorated tastefully, if a bit sparsely with overstuffed chairs and a couch, a galley kitchen, small office area, and a queen bed tucked into a corner. Though it was simple, Delphine could tell that a person thought about what would go into the building and that person had taken the time to make it feel warm and comfortable.

She turned to Bobbi. “You really did do this, didn’t you?”

Bobbi turned around in a circle, arms spread. “Yep. I even stocked the pantry.”

Delphine slid her boots off before curling onto the couch. “I don’t suppose it has a wine rack?”

Bobbi took a moment in the kitchen and returned with two glasses of cabernet. “I’ve been undercover in a bar for the last three months of my life. Of course there’s booze.” She handed the glass over to the blonde and perched on the edge of the chair opposite. “So, here’s what we know. Shay Davydov was former military. She joined at eighteen and was trained as a flight medic in Seattle, Washington and did one tour in Afghanistan. She was discharged honorably. The paper we pulled on her in Canada looks to be Department of Defense handiwork- new passport, driver’s license. They should really change their default date on that stuff.” She shook her head. “Idiots.” 

"Facial recognition from our drones picked her up at a rendition camp in Poland. My buddy over at Homeland says that camp was run in its entirely by Cerberus. They did a lot of grab and bag operations, interrogations. It appears that she continued to be their medic. She spent quality time at black sites throughout Europe before coming back to the states. In addition to her medic training she’s got language credentials, so maybe she translated?” 

Delphine flipped through the pages of the dossier. For such a small woman, it was clear that she shouldn’t be underestimated. She nodded at Bobbi to continue.

“She shows up in Toronto about the time that we know Beth Childs became self-aware. I believe, though I can’t substantiate it, that someone at Topside has a trigger in the government databases, based on facial recognition queries on Leda, probably DNA too. When Beth went looking, Shay showed up.”

Delphine swallowed hard against a lump that had formed in her throat. “What does she want?”

Bobbi shrugged. “You know as well as I do that our information on Castor isn’t what it could be. I am hopeful that you might be able to get more information from Marion Bowles, or perhaps Sarah and Helena could shed some light. The only thing I could think of is that they were targeting Cosima particularly, and knowing her sexuality, sent a beautiful blonde to get close to her.”

 _“Merde!_ For such a smart woman, she is utterly impossible!”

“I’m not saying she was an easy mark, but, well, maybe you expect too much. The Leda’s have always been… volatile.” Bobbi’s voice softened. “If it helps at all, it really did seem innocuous. Felix added her to that app, and the next thing I knew she was meeting someone at the bar. If Castor was behind it, I’m not sure how they pulled it off unless they run their facial recognition on all of the dating sites too. Is there something that Cosima knows or has that could be of particular value to Castor?”

Delphine closed her eyes, trying to bring forth all of the things that Cosima knew. “Well, she knows the science as well as anyone, certainly as well as I do. Her grasp on clone genetics is as strong as someone who has been with DYAD for years.” She felt a surge of pride at the young woman’s prowess, “So, if Castor is trying to learn more about their origins, that could be the target. I do not believe it is much of a secret that Cosima’s loyalties to the organization are… tenuous at best. She is trusting of almost anyone outside of the organization, and no one within it.” She sighed. “I wish she had a little more of Sarah’s natural cynicism.”

Bobbi stood and put her glass in the sink. “So, Delphine, I know you’re not going to want to hear this, but I think we need to approach Cosima. See if she can figure out what Castor’s angle is. She obviously is already spending a lot of time with her. Maybe she can help us figure out who is driving that bus. I’m working as hard as I can on my guys inside, but you know as well as I do that if someone wants to keep a project dark, it damn well stays dark.”

Delphine tried not to flinch. “She knows, Bobbi. About me.”

Bobbi sucked in a deep breath. “Is your cover compromised? How did she find out?”

Her eyes didn’t quite meet the unswerving gaze leveled at her. “I told her. I… I know it goes against every rule, every regulation, but I had to make her trust me. I was losing her Bobbi!”

“You don’t mean in the ‘as an informant’ sense do you?”

“No. I have tried to stay away from her, try to keep myself separate, but you have to know that this job, it… it takes every part of you. I’m not playacting when I am looking for a cure for Leda. I’m not pretending to run DYAD, nor to participate in Topside. I am in them, deeper than always feels safe. And with Cosima…” she trailed off. “With Cosima it has always been about more than what I could learn, about human cloning, about the monitor system, about DYAD, Neolution. It became, very quickly, about a young woman struggling with the reality of her very formation. It is an existential crisis for them, but she’s handled it scientifically all along. She is so open, so smart, so…” Delphine shook her head. “I couldn’t continue to lie to her. I had to tell her the truth. All of it.” Her voice broke as she whispered, “I love her.”


	9. Chapter 9

Armed with the keys to the safe house and the dossier on Shay, Delphine felt more in-control than she had in weeks. She had asked Bobbi to push harder on her contact at Homeland Security for more information about Cerberus, their ties to Castor and who might be funding them. They would have to decide how far Cosima could go to try to gain the same information. It was not something she wanted to do at all, to involve Cosima in this, but it seemed as though they may be running out of choices.

She was also eager to learn what Sarah and the Ledas had discussed at their meeting. As much as she admired Sarah’s courage, she functioned like an over-stimulated nerve, impulsive and reflexive. She rarely planned any of her movements and found herself caught in the sights of the warring factions as often as she found herself at the top of the heap. It was all Delphine could do to stay one step ahead of the impetuous clone.

She brought her wrist up to check the time. It was late, but other than Alison, it wasn’t like any of the women kept a normal schedule. She stifled the urge to take a bus to the loft. Though she was relatively sure each of the sisters could be trusted, she still felt like an outsider in the group. She trusted Cosima to keep her secret, and trusted Sarah to do what needed to be done for the rest of the clones, but Alison was a bit of a loose cannon and Helena… well, Helena was just frightening if she was being honest with herself. How she and Sarah had managed to escape Castor’s black-site camp was a story she desperately wanted to hear. She knew the body count had to be high on that particular mission. 

Dr. Leekie, for all of his manipulations, was at least rather transparent in the end. His first love was himself, with Neolution coming in a not-too-distant second. Having him running DYAD at least coalesced two factions under one leader. And his goals were seemingly purely scientific. The science was something she could always grasp. The facts of it, though fantastical, were still facts. Cells reproducing, traits replicating- even the prion disease was understandable. With the number of Leda clones who had fallen ill, their sample size had grown. Studying the sick as well as the sisters who had yet to fall ill- Rachel, Alison, and the others- provided DYAD with a fairly robust arsenal with which to fight the disease. Their biggest enemy was their self-imposed secrecy. That and the damnable synthetic sequences.

She thought for a moment about the book, the code that Cosima claimed Duncan had left for Kira. She knew that there was absolutely no way Rachel would provide the information to Delphine, no matter how hard she leaned on her. But perhaps she could exert pressure in another avenue. Rachel had seemed to be getting close to Scott, and she had always shown a preference for Dr. Nealon. She considered her options, as well as the clone. The easiest way to get information was to motivate the informant. What was it that motivated Rachel? Her romantic entanglements bordered on businesslike. Transactions between monitor and clone that held no romance. Then again, she and Ferdinand seemed to have a certain chemistry as well as respect if not fondness for one another. Though the man absolutely made her skin crawl, it was possible that he could be useful to them now. That and her twisted family dynamic were all that came to mind.

She heard her stop being called overhead and stood to exit the train. She was going to have to decide how or if to involve Cosima in all of this. They needed the book to be decoded. They needed the synthetic sequences to heal Cosima. They needed to better understand Castor, because it was clear that they would not stop hunting the Ledas until they had what they wanted. And they were going to have to have a reckoning with Shay.

Rolling her shoulders against the tightness and fatigue she felt there, she began the short walk back to the penthouse. The doorman offered a sleepy smile as he allowed her entrance. She swiped her card at the elevator and stepped inside, slouching slightly on the handrail. She had only risen a few floors when she noticed a familiar scent lingering in the air. Before she could think too long about it the doors slid open, revealing her apartment. Soft lights illuminating her kitchen where a small dreadlocked woman appeared to be smoking a joint and preparing a meal.

The brunette’s head jerked up at the sound of the doors opening. Catching her tongue between her teeth she smiled as the tall blonde made her way into the room, heels clicking on hardwood.

“Hey. Don’t be mad. Or at least don’t be mad at Chuck. I told him it would be ok if I came up here, that it was our anniversary and that I was going to surprise you. He’s just a big softie, so please don’t get him fired.”

Delphine shook her head, incredulous. On one hand, she was so relieved to see Cosima in her home doing normal domestic chores she thought she might cry. On the other, she knew that she would have to improve her security. Softie or not, no way should Chuck have granted anyone access to the penthouse. Sensing her alarm, Cosima interjected, “I already ran your bug sweeper. Nifty gadget, but we’re all clear. And if you need, I can get the feed from the cameras. Chuck explained that all of the footage goes to a server farm. I know a guy who can make my little elevator ride disappear.”

“What… what are you doing here?” It was all she could think to say- watching small hands make fast work of the dishes in the sink. Her eyes traveled over the surfaces of the countertops where two bowls and plates had been pulled out. A pot on the stove appeared to have tomato soup bubbling inside of it, and Cosima was busy toasting cheese sandwiches.

“I never feel like I’m done talking to you, and so much happened tonight I didn’t want to wait, so I came over to make your favorite grad school comfort food. Tomato soup and grilled cheese.” She grinned. “I did my best to make sure I wasn’t followed, took a weird route, went in one side of my dealer’s building and then out the fire escape.” She gestured with her joint, “Want some?”

“No, and you shouldn’t be smoking either with the polyps on your lungs.”

Cosima sighed. “I know, but I miss it. I miss doing normal things, like smoking a joint and eating dinner at 2 a.m. with the hot immunology post-doc. Remember?”

Delphine did remember. It was before Cosima had kissed her, but during a time that, had she not been so very dense, she should have realized she was being courted. They had been up late, talking about DYAD, about Neolution, about eugenics. The conversation had turned to spirituality, morality, personhood. It was then that Cosima had jumped up and lit a joint, proclaiming the conversation too heavy to go without it. And then she had made them this exact dinner, serving it on her bed on a tray. Delphine should have known then that things would spiral out of control. After they ate, they lay side by side, not touching, but so close that she could feel the heat that always seemed to roll off of the clone’s body. The young scientist had tried to convince her that a belief in soulmates was rational, that at an atomic level particles of stardust might recognize one another. Though she had dismissed it as romantic drivel at the time, she had to admit that she felt a certain gravitational pull.

Cosima plated up the sandwiches, and put cups of soup on a tray. “You want to eat at the table? Or like last time?”

She knew her answer would change things between them, yet again. There was no way she could have Cosima in her bed again without having her. Even her steely resolve had its limits. As she met Cosima’s hazel eyes, she was relieved at the acceptance she found there. There wasn’t even the barest hint of pressure, which made it easy to choose. “Like last time.”

The smile she was given in return was radiant in its intensity. “Ok, great. Picnic-style is totally my favorite too. After you, Doc.”

Delphine couldn’t stop a giggle that bubbled up and she quirked an eyebrow at the young clone, “You haven’t called me Doc since Minnesota.”

“I know. I was thinking about that on the way over here. Not just about that, but about how we were there, how much easier it was. I know that I didn’t know you, not fully. I know that we were working at odds sometimes. I know that you lied to me, that you felt you had to, or you were afraid for my health, or whatever. But I also feel like I did know you then. That you weren’t all hidden from me, even knowing what I know now. When we were there it was so much easier. I was just this geek monkey grad student and you were the hot post-doc and we were, we are so alike. I can’t believe that was all an act, that it was all lies.” She sat the sandwiches and soup down on the dresser and toed off her shoes.

Before she could turn, she felt Delphine at her back, arms snaking around her hips, hands flexing at the ridge of bone that had been padded a bit more before she had gotten sick, before Delphine had been sent to Frankfurt. She swallowed hard as she felt fingers dig in tightly, pulling her back against the taller woman’s frame. Cosima allowed her head to fall against Delphine’s shoulder, eyes closed against emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.

She shuddered at the soft voice in her ear. “It was not all lies. I loved you even before we left. That day you confronted me, I wanted to tell you. I had planned to tell you even. I wanted so much to come clean, but didn’t know how. I never knew how. I was afraid that if I wasn’t careful that you would be killed, or that I would somehow blow it with Leekie and ruin our whole operation. I am sorry. I am so sorry Cosima, about all of this. I’m sorry that I made you doubt yourself, doubt us. I am sorry for how we came to know one another, for the facts of your creation.”

She turned Cosima in her arms tracing the pads of her thumbs over her eyebrows, cheekbones, to cradle her face. “But I am so glad you are here with me now.” She bent to press a gentle kiss to the clone’s forehead and the bridge of her nose before capturing her lips. She intentionally kept the contact light, pulling back slightly as the brunette tried to deepen the kiss.

Smiling sheepishly, she stifled a yawn. “I love you, and I want you. Truly. But I am half-dead from the hours I have been keeping. Could we perhaps eat our little picnic and then sleep? I will make it up to you.”

Cosima leaned up on tiptoe to kiss Delphine’s temple, she laughed a ragged little laugh. “I am so glad you said so. Between the late night and the pot, I’m pretty much toast. Lets eat, and talk, and in the morning we can have a long shower and you can show me how much you missed me, ok Doc?”

They settled cross-legged on the bed, dunking their sandwiches into their soup, smiling sleepily at one another. Delphine took the empty dishes and set them on the floor. With absolutely no hint of modesty she stripped her business attire off, leaving herself in only a camisole and panties. Cosima wriggled her eyebrows suggestively, pulling at layers until she was left in a t-shirt and boy shorts. She waited for Delphine to lay down before wrapping herself around the blonde’s long form. 

She lay listening to Delphine’s heart beating, nearly drifting off to sleep before she heard Delphine’s voice in the dark. “I think perhaps you were right about stardust.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting y'all. I was overcome with some life issues, but rest assured this isn't abandoned. I think you might like Chapter 10. ;)
> 
> And thanks to oddgirlout for the edits. Be nice to your English teachers, kids. They might be writing and editing fanfic during summer break.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our girls finally find their way to one another, but danger lurks nearby.

Cosima drifted awake before the sun rose fully. The light in the loft had just begun to shift into the soft grey of morning when she heard the shower, noticed the empty but still warm spot in the bed next to her. She rolled over and pressed her face to Delphine's pillow. Here, then, was the smell she had been trying to hold on to, the one that lingered in the white cotton sweater she had liked to wrap herself in until Felix had accused her of pining. She hadn't been pining, not really. She understood perfectly why Delphine had made the choices she had, but that didn't make dealing with the consequences any easier. Ok, maybe she was pining a little.

The water turned off, and Cosima considered feigning sleep. Instead she rolled back, to her side of the bed and propped her back up on some pillows. It wasn't long before Delphine came back to the bedroom. "Oh, I am sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. It seems not to matter what time I go to sleep, I nearly always wake before the sun. "

Cosima darted to the bathroom, tossing a "gimme two secs" over her shoulder. She quickly splashed water on her face, squished some toothpaste on her finger and did her best to brush her teeth quickly. With a quick rinse she checked herself in the mirror. She looked thinner, tired, but that wasn't going to be fixed in the fifteen or so more seconds she was willing to spend away from the blonde. 

She attempted to calm the beating of her heart, took a deep breath, and returned to the bedroom. Her steps faltered just a few paces in when she caught sight of Delphine dropping her robe and sliding under the sheets. She almost felt as though she was interrupting. "Hey."

Delphine looked up, sheets puddled at her waist, hair damp and beginning to curl, face devoid of makeup. She looked younger, closer to her true age. Her green eyes were bright and held Cosima's. It was a relief for Cosima to see only joy reflected back at her. Gone was the exhaustion, the wariness that she had come to expect. 

Delphine smiled, and drawled "Hey." back at the smaller woman, gracing her with a smirk.

Cosima made her way to the bed, pulling her shirt over her head and shimmying out of her shorts. She slid into the bed slowly, her eyes raking over Delphine's body. It was clear that Cosima was not the only one who had become lean during their separation. She could see the outline of the French woman's ribs, her collarbone stood out in stark relief. Delphine caught her stare, pulled the sheet up sheepishly. 

"No, oh no, don't hide. I didn't mean to make you self-conscious. You just... we..." Cosima took a deep breath to steady herself. "I'm sorry I haven't been looking out for you. Even if we weren't together I was a shit friend. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you were hurting and I wanted you to continue to hurt."

Delphine reached out to silence the smaller woman, letting her fingers rest on her lips. "Shh. It's fine. I isolated myself, left you to your devices. Let you go." Her eyes flooded at that and she surged across the space between them. She pushed Cosima back against the pillows, straddling her hips in one swift movement. She brushed the tears out of her eyes with her forearm and leaned down to capture the smaller woman’s mouth. Kissing Cosima was, always had been for her, a revelation. Even their first kiss had left her shaking, confused, intrigued, but mostly and perhaps most disconcertingly, incredibly turned on.

This morning she had intended to go slowly, but the reality of having Cosima whole, healthy, and… she groaned as the clone’s lips found purchase on her clavicle and all thoughts of a leisurely exploration flew out the window. She wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and rolled, needing to feel her weight, to be pinned, to be claimed. She pulled back just slightly in order to catch her partner's eyes, hoping she would not have to speak her need aloud, that her actions would speak it for her. She saw instantly that Cosima would need no instruction. In fact, Delphine felt her gut twist as she caught the predatory look on the smaller woman's face. 

Cosima lifted her head, slid her palms up the center of Delphine's chest and pressed her hands into the blonde's shoulders. She leaned hard into her before capturing her mouth in a bruising kiss before pulling back and peppering her neck, her shoulders with more kisses. Between kisses she proclaimed, "I missed you so much. I have wanted to do this since the moment I saw you in that stupid hallway. I love you."

She bowed her head, capturing a hardened nipple with her tongue, pulling it into her mouth with a groan. She reached down, grasping the blonde's hip tightly as she rocked against her thigh. Her head dropped against her partner's chest and she gasped heavily against her. She felt Delphine's hand come to the base of her spine and press her closer still as she continued to grind. Cosima bent again to Delphine's other breast, determined that she would stop soon and get back to the task at hand. She found herself getting distracted by her own pleasure and forced herself to slow, to stop. She caught Delphine's eye and smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, I got a little absorbed there

Delphine smiled, "Oh, it is quite alright mon coeur, I know you tend to get carried away. But...soon...I want you to come in my mouth."

Cosima swallowed hard and hissed "Yes, please," as she continued to make her way down the long, thin form that she had so missed. "But you first." She pressed a kiss to the hollow of Delphine's hip before pulling her legs up over her shoulders and bending her head to her sex. Never one to be tentative in this particular arena, Cosima pressed her open mouth to Delphine's pussy, sliding her tongue up and over her clit and sucking hard. She couldn't help the moan that escaped her throat as she built a rhythm that had Delphine's foot digging hard into her shoulder blade, her hips rocking up and into her mouth. 

She knew the blonde was close by the pitch of her vocalizations. She slid two fingers inside her lover and twisted her wrist just so, until the sounds Delphine made were less breathy, more desperate and guttural. Then she was coming against her hand, her mouth, and Cosima slowed her tongue, letting her fingers work to prolong the blonde's pleasure as long as possible. When it was clear she was finished, Cosima settled into the crook of her arm.

"Do not get too comfortable. I will regain my strength momentarily and then..." she smiled as she recalled the perfect turn of phrase "and then your ass is mine." Cosima's eyebrows shot to her forehead and she leaned back and laughed.  


"Oh my god. You did not just say that!"

Delphine raised herself on an elbow and leaned over the smaller woman, quirking an eyebrow skyward. "I did, and it is."  


Cosima grinned. "Eet eez."

Delphine smacked at her belly playfully. "You may wish to be more careful about who you are teasing here, given our relative positions."

"Oh, what? You're going to show me how you get into boss-bitch mode? Tie me up, tie me down?" Though Cosima was clearly joking, she didn't miss the look of interest that crossed Delphine's face as her eyes flicked to her wrists, to the headboard.  


Delphine nipped at Cosima's neck. "You are so cheeky!"

Cosima melted under Delphine's kisses, pressing her shoulders back against the bed, tangling her hands in the mess of curls above her. "Mmmm... I am, and you love it."

"I do, and I love you." Suddenly the humor was sucked out of the room, replaced by desperation to show the young woman how much she'd missed her, to prove her worth, to erase the lingering doubts about how she compared to Shay. She traced her hands over Cosima's body, trailing her mouth after her hands, over her breasts, down her ribs, sliding her hands under her ass and lifting the clone's sex to her mouth. She licked and sucked at her cunt, thrilled by the sounds she was eliciting from the smaller woman. She held Cosima there, suspended on the splay of her hands, pressed into her mouth until she came, hard and more quickly than she had expected. She gentled her strokes, but didn't stop until she had coaxed her to come again, and then again- until the hand fisted in her curls released and she felt the woman relax back into the bed.

They curled together then, and slept the dreamless sleep of the unburdened, nowhere to be, and for the time being, dangers forgotten.  
**************  
"Listen Coady, I don't know. She seems to be getting sick I guess? She's at work a lot, seems to be pulling away. Yes. I know. Yes ma'am. I understand. I will do my best ma'am. No, I haven't forgotten the mission. I know my role."

Shay ended the call and threw the phone across the room into the futon. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck." She began to pace the small apartment. She was going to have to figure out how to get Coady off of her back without spooking Cosima. And soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang on kids, just a few chapters to go! Perennial thanks go to [oddgirlout](http://archiveofourown.org/users/oddgirlout/pseuds/oddgirlout/works) for her editing prowess.


	11. Chapter 11

They slept late, hard. Cosima stirred first and pulled Delphine against her tightly. She buried her face in blonde curls and tried unsuccessfully to stifle the hot tears that streaked down her face. She considered their predicament- Delphine was serving so many masters, though she supposed, in the end she served the CIA above all else. The other factions- DYAD, Topside, Neolution, Castor- maybe they could find a way to pit them against one another- to switch their focus away from Leda somehow, at least long enough for them to get the book translated. Because, as Cosima well knew, there was a fifth faction- the disease that lurked inside of her, and potentially inside of the others. It was as unrelenting as any Castor boy- she could almost feel a heaviness beginning to settle around her lungs, in her abdomen. She knew it was coming back, and it scared the hell out of her. She swiped her forearm against her eyes to clear the tears that had gathered there. Surely Delphine would have a plan, would help them make a plan. God knows Sarah was prepared to go off half-cocked, was prepared to sneak Rachel out of the country in exchange for the translation of Dr. Moreau. Maybe it wasn’t the craziest idea Sarah had ever had. Ethan had left the book with Kira for a reason. Cosima had to believe that it was to help them find a cure, to help fix the flaw in his life’s work.

Delphine woke with a start. She was late, of that she was sure. She blinked hard and shook her head, confused when she felt strong arms tighten around her waist. Cosima. She settled back, felt her heart rate calm and closed her eyes again. _”Mon coeur_ for a moment I thought I had dreamed you. But here you are. What time is it?”

Cosima pressed a kiss to the wild tangle of curls under her chin. “Shhh. You don’t want to know. Surely DYAD directors get a day off sometimes, right?”

Delphine sighed and stretched, and considered the angle of the sunlight streaming through the windows. “They do, however, as you know I am much more than just DYAD director. I tend to use my time off to try to plan the week ahead, to figure out the movements of all of the factions, to try to keep my stubborn girlfriend and her sisters safe, which, I believe, is the most difficult task of all given their unwillingness to let me know what they’re plotting.”

With a sigh, Cosima shifted to her stomach, propping up on elbows so that she could meet Delphine’s eyes. “First, I think this is the first time you’ve ever called me your girlfriend, but I’m just going to let that slide.” She grinned as Delphine rolled her eyes at her and leaned in to steal a quick kiss. “Second, we should talk about the meeting that I had with Sarah and the sisters.”

“Yes. But first coffee. And five more minutes of this before the rest of the world creeps in.”

Five minutes quickly turned into more than an hour as gentle caresses turned more purposeful and they once again found themselves using their bodies to say the things that their voices could not yet articulate. Cosima found herself quickly overwhelmed by the slow and certain purpose of Delphine’s hands. There was a deliberateness to her touch now that had not been there when they’d made love in the past; it almost felt as though she were being studied, put to memory, that her responses were being measured and recorded. She briefly wondered if this was a consequence of their separation or if it was something more. Soon she was too overcome to contemplate the meaning of the difference, instead she was pulled into a place where feeling vanquished thought and turned her wonderings instead to entreaties of _yes, please_ and _more_.

*****

While Cosima showered, Delphine prepared a breakfast of coffee, fruit, bread and cheese. She was slightly abashed that there was more wine in her refrigerator than food, but then again, that was simply the way of things lately. She’d ask Britney to arrange for a delivery from the local market. Cosima was right that she hadn’t been eating or taking particularly good care of herself at all really. She shook her head to clear it. She had to get her head back in the game, too much was at stake for the kind of distraction she had been dealing with.

Soon she was treated with the sight of the compact woman making her way down the stairs. There was a slight swagger in her step, a smile on her face. Her dreads were twisted up into a pile on the top of her head and she was wearing one of Delphine’s shirts. She wondered again at the naivety of her earlier decision to put their relationship on hold while she put down the Castors and tightened the rein on the Neolutionists. Having Cosima so near but so far away had made it impossible to concentrate. She was unable to do the one thing that she’d had trouble with from the start- when Leekie had asked her to be Cosima’s monitor he had asked her to get close, but to always remember that she was a scientist and had to do her best to be objective. She hadn’t been able to do it then, what in the world had made her think that she could do it now- after they’d shared so much?

Cosima sidled up to the taller woman and wrapped her in a quick squeeze before ducking under her arm to grab the cup of steaming coffee sitting on the counter. “Penny for them?”  


“Oh, I was just thinking that I was so stupid to think that I could just… suspend our relationship. That you would wait for me, that my feelings for you could somehow be deferred until they were more convenient. I…” She paused, unsure of whether it was wise for her to continue or if she would be revealing too much. She picked up her own coffee and took a deep drink, meeting Cosima’s eyes over the rim of her mug. “I have to admit that this is all new to me. This… depth of feeling. It is disconcerting and distracting. And I am fighting so hard against the desire to push you away again in an effort to keep you safe. I don’t know what I would do if anything were to happen to you but I worry that if I don’t keep you close that you or your sisters will do something stupid, or that you will find someone else. And that... That is intolerable.”

Cosima regarded the blonde carefully. “I think that’s the most you’ve ever talked about your feelings with me ever. Sometimes I think maybe you think I can read your mind, but I can’t. All I ever know is how I feel about you and what you tell me, what you show me. This isn’t exactly something I’ve done before either.” She watched as Delphine eyed her incredulously. “I mean, I’ve been with women, but I haven’t exactly been serious with anybody before. And certainly not while simultaneously facing a bunch of baddies and a disease that’s trying to take me and my new found family out. I don’t think they make a user’s manual for this, ya know? I mean, when you broke up with me how was I to know that you meant it to be temporary, that you still loved me. How was I supposed to know?” She felt anger and hurt rising with her last question and fought against the lump in her throat.

Shaking her head ruefully, Delphine could only reply “I know. I know. You could not have known. And so when you found Shay I told myself that I should be glad that you weren’t alone, that your heart was not as broken as my own. But I was… I was destroyed.”

“Do you think for a moment that I wasn’t? Felix told me I reeked of pining. You were so closed off to me, you wouldn’t answer my texts, my calls. I had to believe that you were just done, that you couldn’t handle it any more. And so, yes, I started seeing Shay. I can't keep apologizing for that. I won't. I didn’t know what to do, Delphine! This thing between us is… for me, it’s… big. Huge. It is pit of my soul, can’t live without it kind of love. ”

Delphine closed her eyes at the declaration. She knew it to be true, had felt it from the moment in her office when Cosima had revealed that she had had a near death experience, that she had found her way back from the brink with thoughts of… of _her_. Surely she could not be worthy of such devotion. She knew they had so much more to say to one another, and yet she felt spent already. “I love you. I need for you to be safe, to get well. Perhaps since we failed so miserably apart, we will be able to succeed together. Come, sit with me at this table. Someone should. I don’t think I’ve sat at it since it was delivered.”

They gathered plates of food and topped off their coffee, and Delphine watched, bemused, as Cosima folded herself into the chair knees at her chin, feet on the seat. She was such a combination of a woman and a child sometimes. She moved through the world in a way that Delphine envied. She didn’t exactly possess grace- she was clumsy as anything- but she was so relaxed and confident. It didn’t seem like she ever thought about how other people saw her. Delphine watched the young woman tear off a chunk of baguette and dip it in marmalade before popping it into her mouth with gusto. Yes, she was in love with this genius woman-child. She could watch her do something as banal as eating all day. But there wasn’t time for that. The day was already nearly half-over and she needed to get a handle on where things stood before they started to move too quickly and she found herself forced to react instead of act.

“Will you please tell me what you and the others talked about at your meeting with Sarah the other night?”

Taking a moment to chew, Cosima pulled her knees more tightly to her chest. “Sarah wants to work with Rachel to translate the book. Apparently Rachel is willing to do that if we help her escape out of the country. She has a whole plan that has to do with a clone we haven’t met yet named Krystal. Basically if we steal her identity, Rachel can assume it and be out of the country before DYAD knows what’s hit it.”

She sat back and waited for the question she knew would come next. Delphine considered her for a moment before asking it. “And you, are you supposed to be the one who gets her out from DYAD, from under my nose?"  
Cosima couldn't quite meet her eyes. "Yeah. Me and Scott. Rachel says she won't deal with you at all. Either we sneak her out under your nose or she doesn't deal."

Delphine considered this. After their confrontation a few weeks ago, it wasn't any wonder that Rachel wanted nothing to do with her. She was going to have to meet this new Leda, make sure she wasn't self-aware, and then decide what to do next.  


"Cosima, I know it isn't easy, but I need for you to continue as though we are not together. Sarah can't know- not because I don't trust her, but because I can't be sure who she is trusting with what information. Shay can't know because we are still looking into her background. What we have found so far though, is not good. It appears that she has some kind of connection to the Castors."

Cosima cradled her head in her hands. "I was SO STUPID. I trusted her! How could I be so stupid!?"

Delphine's gaze grew sharp at this. "What have you told her Cosima?"

"I... nothing, really. She asked the other day who Sarah was. Said I said her name in my sleep."

"You don't talk in your sleep. I would know."

"I... I know. I'm afraid she might also know about the book. She saw it the other day when she was in the lab. I played it off like it was one of Scott's prized possessions, but I don't know if she believed me or not. She didn't act weird or anything." She sighed. "How am I supposed to act normal with her? We were dating for fuck's sake. I am not going to sleep with her again, not after this. I don't know how long I can fake it."

"Then leave it to me. I will take care of it. Maybe you could just say you aren't feeling well, buy yourself some time. And you can't continue to come here. I have a cell phone for you to use if you'd like to contact me. And I have a safehouse now. Do you think you could memorize the address?"

Blinking at the abrupt change that came over her girlfriend, she could see that the tall blonde was already in planning mode. "OK. I'll tell her I am sick, or that I need to work on my dissertation or something. Sarah is going to want to make her move with Rachel soon. So, if you need to meet this Krystal, it should be soon. I think Sarah and Fe are going to go steal her identity this week."

Delphine stood. "Then I do not have any time to waste. Thank you for telling me all of this. I promise that telling me is for the best. I will find a way to get the book translated. Sarah is right- Ethan gave you all the code for a reason. Perhaps it is the key to the synthetic sequences, I'm not sure. We have to follow any lead that will get you well." She turned to go up the stairs. "I have to go Cosima. I need to find your newest sister, and decide how far we're willing to let Rachel go to get this translation. I'll try to get to her today and I will call you tonight. You're welcome to stay here today, but perhaps when you leave you can take the stairs?"

Cosima followed closely behind her on the stairs. "I know you have a lot to do, and it is totally fine that you have to go, but if you think I'm not going to just sit and watch you put your game face on, you've got another thing coming. Come on Dr. Cormier, let's get you transformed."

Together they ascended the stairs, steps slow but deliberate, knowing that threats were growing closer even as they grew closer themselves. Delphine stopped short and pulled Cosima into an embrace at the top of the stairs. "This is starting to move very quickly. If you need anything you must call me. If you cannot get me, you go to Britney, or to Bobby. If you feel scared, or unsure, or just have a bad feeling, you tell me. Cosima, promise me?"

The clone leaned up and brushed a soft kiss to the worried woman's face. "I promise. It is going to be ok. We have each other. I've told you everything I know, and you are keeping us safe. I promise that we will look back on this one day as that hard time we had to get through. And we will get through it. Now come on. You're going to go meet one of my sisters today. She doesn't even know what she's in for."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not so much a chapter as much as a couple of scenes.

No matter how many of the Leda clones Delphine met, she remained in awe of their differences. Krystal Goderich was no exception. The wide-eyed blonde held Delphine's hand in her own as she told the story of an attempted abduction- her run in with the Castor clones. And though she was surprised that Castor had located the woman, she was more annoyed that her people didn’t know more about the attempted abduction of the young clone. It remained unclear what exactly the Castor project wanted from the bubbly manicurist.  
"So, you're a doctor?"

Delphine thought quickly, "Mmm... yes, I have a family practice.” The lie came easy, but not without guilt as she looked at the guileless young woman.

“Ooooh, I really relate to that, you know, like the healing arts. I feel like what I do is quite healing.” Krystal continued, “I don’t know if you feel that right now, but that’s just my gift. I just feel like, in spite of everything, as hard as it is… losing Hector… you just can’t crush the human spirit.”

Delphine couldn’t help herself from nodding back at the wide-eyed blonde and smiling. It would be easy to write Krystal off as a space-case, but there was an intelligence in her eyes as she explained her run-in with the Castors, as though she were waiting for the doctor to correct her- to explain how something so unbelievable could be true. The good news seemed to be that Krystal remained unaware of her sisters. As Krystal put the finishing touches on one of the best manicures Delphine had ever had the pleasure of experiencing, Delphine struggled with the idea of Rachel having any contact with Krystal at all, if even just to borrow her identity. Here she was again, faced with that damnable promise to protect all of Leda. Did that extend to clones Cosima hadn’t yet met… to Rachel?

She decided it would be easiest to let Sarah and Felix steal the young woman’s identity. The CIA could always give it back to her if need be, once Rachel had been contained. She had learned through this whole process that it was sometimes better to let these things play out a bit, especially if nobody was in real danger. She was hoping that Sarah’s scheme would result in a translation of the book, and a step closer to a cure for Cosima. It would also give them some leverage over Castor, who, if Cosima’s post-mortem of Seth was to be believed were also suffering from a prion disease, though theirs affected their brains. Small mercies, she supposed.

Delphine left with a smile for the effervescent clone, and a large tip. It was the least she could do for the girl, and she knew she may need to do more. Whether that be allowing Sarah and her sisters to bring her into the fold or have her put in protective custody, she wasn’t sure which, but she worried that Krystal might still be in danger, be it from Castor or another of the factions. The one thing she had learned to never take for granted was the ignorance of one group of the other’s activities. It was nearly impossible for any of them to make a move that the other wasn’t aware of, certainly at least after the fact, if not before. 

She wondered if she was not the only double or triple agent in the mix. Information traveled so quickly between the groups, someone had to be talking. If she could just figure out who, she might be able to get a jump on Rachel, or on Castor. Topside and Ferdinand had been rather quiet of late, which either meant that they were content with the information she’d been feeding them, or that they’d cut her out of the equation already.

The people at DYAD were, by and large, simply trying to do the best science they could do- whether that be slowing or stopping the respiratory illness or filling in the blanks where the synthetic sequences were found. But she was not stupid. The DYAD’s employees were ripe for the picking- be it for industrial espionage or that of a more sinister nature. It would not surprise her at all to find that the group had been infiltrated, it was simply a matter of learning who might be selling the company’s secrets.  
She briefly considered Scott, but immediately banished such thoughts. He was loyal to Cosima, she was sure of that. The clone project was a dream come true for him. However, she could not discount his perfect position within the institute. And with his growing relationship with Rachel, she wasn’t sure what to make of him. In the end, she supposed his position was much like her own. He had become involved because of the science but had found himself pulled into the lives of the sisters. Once it became personal, and how could it not become personal?, it was much more difficult to dissociate the things that went on in the laboratory with the people you’d come to care about. This was what made Rachel so dangerous. As the only self-aware clone, she’d tracked the others, knew their strengths, their weaknesses. It didn’t surprise Delphine at all to see Rachel try to use Scott and Cosima to help her escape. But to where, and with whom? Rachel would be at least somewhat reliant on others for a long while yet, and as far as Topside knew, she was dead. Where then, did she think she would go? She wasn’t without means, but Delphine couldn’t imagine her just fading into the background either. 

Delphine sighed. Maybe she needed to talk to Ferdinand again. Certainly he and Rachel had shared something, a respect, an affection, if not love. Maybe they had been in contact after all, and _that_ is what explained Topside’s relative quiet. The man made her skin crawl, but he was at least consistent, she could give him that. She pulled into the parking garage at DYAD and prepared to get back to work, the memory of her morning with Cosima a distant memory.

**********

If anyone had asked her, and nobody ever did ask her, she would have told them that the trouble with her brothers, aside from the “glitch” was that they’d never been properly socialized. Their relationship with Coady was more than a little creepy, and their relationships with one another bordered on incestuous. She knew that they didn’t really have much of a chance, raised like they were, all together in the hyper-militaristic world, where women were objectives to be obtained and cataloged, recorded for posterity, and men other than those in the chain of command were pitied or feared.

She didn’t quite remember when she started calling them brothers, though at least in a sense they were- brothers-in-arms, tools in the vast Pentagon utility belt. Shay herself was another tool, she knew. They said they wanted her for her foreign language skills, for her better-than-rudimentary medical knowledge, but she knew that her true value for the project was her ability to infiltrate. Her petite stature and innocent good looks had gotten her into places she had no business being, and out of scrapes she should not have been able to escape. She had no illusions about her utility to the Castor project. Coady had made it clear. For her brothers to survive, for them to have a fighting chance against the prion disease, she needed more information about the original. Sarah hadn’t been the boon they’d hoped, and the boys were dying. As much as she might have come to actually like Cosima, her orders were clear- find the original, find a cure for the boys. And if she could destabilize DYAD while she was at it, well, all the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short, but October is gonna be insane for me, so I wanted to update at least a little bit before the ghouls and goblins get me.


	13. Chapter 13

Her rest was fitful.  It hadn't taken long at all for her to get used to the small, warm form of Cosima burrowed into her side, and she was once again finding that without it she struggled to remain asleep, waking and rolling to find the other side of the bed empty.  She sighed, punched her pillow, and rolled back.  4:30.  She supposed she might as well give up for the day, go into the lab and review reports.

Dr. Laine was due in from Frankfurt and excited to begin work on Cosima's care.  She wanted to be sure that all of the paperwork was in order for the dynamic young doctor.  She'd become quite disillusioned due to repeated loss of subjects in Europe.   Delphine shook her hair out as she stood, grabbing a robe that still smelled of her lover.  "Loss of subject" was such a neat little phrase.  She had used it so many times herself to describe the ultimate demise of one of the Ledas.  That was until she met Cosima.  Suddenly the phrase didn't do nearly enough to describe the ravages of the disease, the bleeding, the suffocating wetness in the lungs of a human being, so much more than a subject- rather, an object of someone's love and affection, a person who had done nothing to deserve such a fate, the result of the most startling case of scientific hubris Delphine had ever encountered.  

She understood so clearly the desperation that she saw nearly vibrating under Sarah Manning's skin.  She, and she supposed Helena as well, though god knows they might never get her to submit to any testing, didn't need to worry about the disease.  She was somehow immune.  Delphine had spent hours at the sequencer, under the microscope, peering at strings of proteins to try to find the key that unlocked the mystery behind Sarah's immunity, how she escaped with the tiny variation in proteins that left her safe.  The question she kept coming back to was that there had to be a greater cause. In an experiment so highly engineered, it seemed unlikely that this variation occurred simply through chance.  Though Professor Duncan hadn't admitted it, it was possible that they had included a variation in the tag, or somehow changed the synthetic sequence. The difference had to be accounted for. They were clones. Genetically identical.  Cosima would argue that it was possible that an epigenetic cause was at play, that there was something about Amelia that had caused the change, or something in the environment.  But why did all of the other clones have protein, save Sarah and Helena?  Delphine was sure it was by design.

She pulled into the garage, wishing she had had the foresight to have grabbed a cup of coffee on her way in  She wasn’t sure how exactly she was supposed to be such a hot-shot agent when she could barely remember to do the basic care and keeping of her day to day life- food and water did not hold the same urgency for her as the gradual decline printed out so starkly in Cosima’s chart.  She listened to the click of her boots reverberate over freshly waxed floors and pressed her badge over the lock on the laboratory doors.

She was shocked to see a familiar head bent over the sequencer, dreadlocks pulled back into a messy pile at the name of a neck whose planes and angles she had long since memorized.  She noted the tell-tale white cords trailing from elfin ears, and hung back for a bit just watching her beloved work.

When they had first met, Delphine was taken aback by the energy of the young woman.  Always moving, even while seated she would bend and sway, make patterns on the floor with the ball of her foot.  Initially, Delphine had thought it might indicate a symptom of anxiety, even reported it as such to DYAD, but she’d come to believe that that wasn’t quite it.  No, the sisters all shared it to a degree- it was just an internal restlessness. They were certainly able to be still, but each one of them could only maintain that stillness for so long before they needed to move again.  Ali ran, did pilates, Sarah took long walks, went dancing, Helena...well, it was probably best not to let Helena get too terribly restless.  And Cosima, Cosima painted pictures in the air with her hands, she bent and twisted and danced while bent over microscopes.  She moonwalked samples across the lab. Her restlessness came out irreverent and silly, except when focused on someone.  Then god help you, because the pairing of that energy and intensity….

Her head snapped up when she heard Cosima gasp.

“Hoooooly Mother, you scared the crap out of me!”  The saccharine look on her face did not match the fire in her words, as she continued, “What are you doing here? What time is it? Is it morning already?  Do you want some coffee?  I brewed a pot a while ago” She whirled around, twice, eyes searching the walls, “Seriously, what do we have against clocks in this place?”

“I will have Brittany order you a clock, _cherie_.  It is nearly 6 o’clock, the sun hasn’t yet risen.  Have you been here all night?”

Cosima pushed her hand back through her hair and pushed her glasses up on her nose.  “Uh, no, not all night.  I tried to get some sleep at midnight.  That lasted until about 3, and I’ve been here since. So, not too bad.”

Delphine shook her head, clucking softly, “And what are you working on, now that you are my exemplary employee again, Ms. Niehaus?”

The smaller woman motioned with her chin over to her “chill zone” snagging a couple of Pyrex beakers that had always served as their coffee service. With a quirk of an eyebrow and an answering short nod, Cosima poured Delphine a beaker of coffee, sliding it into a hand-knit beaker cozie before curling herself into the corner of the worn sofa with her own steaming brew.

“So, and you know how I hate to say it, but it looks like you were right.  My white count is high, my temp is slightly elevated, and I should probably do a chest x-ray.”

Delphine tried to keep her face impassive and nodded as Cosima continued, “I mean, I feel ok, really, but I think I’m probably working my way out of whatever sort of remission I was in.  I’d like to talk to you about maybe starting on some prophylactic steroid treatment.”

Delphine nodded and sipped from the thick brew. Lab coffee, it was the same in every country, every lab, somehow stronger, more bitter here, even when you made it the exact same way at home.  “Yes, I think that is a good first step.  And Dr. Laine will be here today.  I’d like you to spend time going over your chart with her.”

“Does she know that I know?”

“Know that you know what?”

“That I’m a clone.”

“Ah, yes.  That.  No, she doesn’t yet know, but I will brief her before you meet.  I think you will like her.  She’s a wonderful physician, but she will not let you push her around.  She’s determined to get to the bottom of this disease, and is frustrated and angry after her latest loss.”

“We lost another one?”

Delphine’s expression softened.  She knew that even when Cosima didn’t know them, she felt a kinship toward the clones, and when one was killed or died, she took it as a personal affront.  As did Delphine, as did Sarah, as did Dr. Laine.  This was how they would beat this disease, through grit and determination that they would not lose another.  “Yes, we lost one more.  She was Dr. Laine’s patient.  They had slowed the progression of the disease, but in the end could not stop it.  I’m sorry.”

Cosima stood and began pacing.  “Ok, ok. Well, I’ll start on whatever the thing is that slowed it down, and then Scott wanted to talk to me later about a potential gene therapy.” She whirled around.  “Oh! And that um… project I was telling you about, um… where I needed to get my hand on the research notes?”

Delphine almost laughed at the look on Cosima’s face as she was clearly trying so hard to pass along some sort of encrypted message.  “Yes, I’m aware of your project.  Feel free to proceed as planned.  I’m fully supportive of the work, but do let me know if there is anything DYAD can do to help support your research.”

Cosima nodded, relieved.  “Ah, yeah, I will.  I mean, it’s sort of one of those things where I’ve really barely dipped my toe, but it seems like maybe there’s already a lot of people working on it.  I’m not sure how helpful my perspective will be, but I’m going to go ahead and stay in touch with the team that’s been working on it.  I’ll let you know if it bears out.”

“Please do.  And now, I’m afraid I need to get Dr. Laine’s on-boarding package together.  I’ll bring her down later this morning.  Perhaps you should try to sleep for a bit?”

Cosima put her beaker down.  “Nah, not yet.  I was looking at the Castor samples, and I feel like maybe there’s something there that we’re missing, so I want to get back to it. That’s the hardest part about all of this I think.  In most every other research I never had to think about a motive.  Biology is, genes do, but there is never a motive.  A reason maybe, but not a motive.  And now I have to look at the expressions, look at not just the how did it happen, but also the why, and then what purpose it serves.  I think I’m a much better scientist than detective.”  She leaned close as she passed Delphine and murmured in her ear, “Which is why I am so glad I have you.”

Delphine stood and smoothed out her jacket and hated the blush she knew had bloomed on her cheeks  "Yes, right.  Well, I'll be down later with the new doctor, and you and I will be in touch regarding that research project. I should have some information for you by close of business."

Cosima could not keep her eyes from dancing nor her tongue from getting caught in her teeth as she suppressed a giggle at the internal war between Dr. Cormier and Delphine, it was clear who would win, though she did love the battle. "Thank you Dr. Cormier."

"Thank you Cosima.  It's good to see you back in the lab again.  I feel much better when I know I have your attention to detail on the project.  I have all the confidence in the world that we will be successful in our endeavors.  At this point, it is only a matter of where the gene therapy will come from, not whether it will come.  That's down to you and Scott."

Her phone buzzed, and Cosima heard her curse softly in French as she toed the door open.  She offered a little wave, and bent back to the microscope wondering about Castor, about Leda, about the hows and the whys of it all.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for bearing with me during my October hiatus. A new short chapter here, and then I have to go back and watch the end of Season 3 again so that I don't mess up the timeline too badly.


	14. Chapter 14

She knew what her orders were, but she also knew that Rudy was the least predictable of the Castors, the most likely to slide a blade through your ribs now and ask questions later.  And so, when she was asked about a possible book, a code, she mentioned that she believed that Scott might be the weak link to further information.  She also begged Coady to ensure that Rudy not kill the young man- he may end up being an informant she could use as well.  She remembered how strange both he and Cosima had been when she picked up the Island of Dr. Moreau. He was awkward to be sure, but there was more to it when it came to the book.  Maybe this would be the end of it. They'd get their book, decode it, cure the brothers and she could get on with her life.  It was hard to say for sure, but it also seemed as if Cosima was pulling away from her. She'd been spending long hours in the lab, providing lame excuses for why she couldn't hang out. Shay was worried she'd somehow lost the young scientist’s interest. That would never do.  One didn’t fail Dr. Coady, the consequences were too great.

**********

“Dr. Laine, thank you so much for agreeing to work on 324B21, I appreciate your willingness to relocate.”

Dr. Laine flipped through the files in front of her, small hands making quick work, dark eyes flicking quickly over the data.  She was tall and broad shouldered with blunt fingernails painted a vivid purple. “Relocate temporarily, Dr. Cormier.”  She closed the files, and dropped them into her large briefcase with a thump. “We have a lot of data on this one, but of late it rather drops off. Is she monitored?”

Delphine shook her head briefly and looked up to meet Dr. Laine’s eyes.  “She is self-aware Dr. Laine.  She has asked to be allowed to monitor herself at this point.  Not only that, but she has lost her trust in Dr. Nealon and asked specifically to have her case given to a new physician.  She’s come closer to a cure than any of the subjects so far, and you’ve come closer to suppressing the disease than any other practitioner. It is my great hope that by teaming you up with her, you and she will come to a breakthrough.  Are you up to the task?”

“Most certainly Dr. Cormier.  I am tired of losing patients.  It will be a relief actually to work with someone with whom I can be completely transparent.  When will I meet her?”

“Today if you like.  She’s working downstairs in her laboratory.”

“Her laboratory. Oh my.  It’s all come home to roost, hasn’t it Dr. Cormier?”

Delphine stood to escort the physician downstairs to meet her patient.  Her voice carried an edge of steel as she replied, “You have no idea.  I am very glad to have you on board Dr. Laine.  Please report any results to me.  Dr. Nealon will not be a part of her care team any longer.”

“Understood.  Thank you again for this opportunity, I look forward to working with Ms. Niehaus.”

“I know she is eager to meet you as well.” Long legs made quick work of the corridors as the two doctors made their way to the small but functional lab space that she and Cosima had built.  She reached for her badge to unlock the door. “Let’s see if she is still in the lab.”

Delphine paused and pulled back when she felt a hand on her arm.  “One last thing, if you don’t mind Dr. Cormier?”

“Of course, Dr. Laine, what is it?”

“I know you have said she is self aware, and that you I will report directly to you.  Should I expect that you will be reporting results to Ms. Niehaus, or would you be comfortable with me reporting results and setting her treatment plan?”

“Dr. Laine.  I know that in your work with DYAD, we have asked some rather… unconventional… things of you.  For Cosima, ah, Ms. Niehaus, you should treat her as any physician would.  I will simply be monitoring your progress and hope to offer insights if I have them.  But truly, you are the practitioner with the most experience in this instance.  You will find that Cosima is strong-willed and determined, and that she is very smart.  But she is not a physician, and she believes herself to be, ah, well, I believe she may think herself to be invincible.  Hopefully you will find that to be a strength rather than something to work against.”

The tall woman’s face broke into a smile for the first time since she’d set foot in DYAD’s North American headquarters, “Oh, on the contrary Dr. Cormier.  A patient who wills herself to be cured is a powerful ally indeed.  Let’s go, you’ve painted quite a picture, and I look forward to meeting her.”

The Finnish doctor and the young clone hit it off nearly instantly, with Cosima calling out the exact shade of Dr. Laine’s nail polish and following up with a comment about the EDM scene in Finland.  Soon Dr. Laine’s head was bent over a microscope and she was pulling out her laptop to take notes on what she saw there. 

Delphine watched the two work for a moment before clearing her throat. “I’m sorry, but I really have to be going.  I will leave you in Dr. Laine’s capable hands, Cosima?”

Cosima nodded her assent.  “Sure.  I’m gonna leave a little bit early and grab a nap since I came in so early, but I’ll be sure to get whatever baseline Dr. Laine wants before I go.”

“Thank you, and good luck to you both.  A cure for this disease is my top priority, is DYAD’s top priority.  Please let me know if you need anything at all.”

She turned to go when the vibration of her phone in her pocket stopped her.  She quickly glanced at the screen before answering it.  “Scott, slow down, what are you talking about?  What book?  Are you ok?  Who is Denice?”

Hearing the panicked tone in her lover’s voice, Cosima had crossed the room.  She was mouthing “his cat” when Delphine caught her eye.

“I’m sure your cat is safe.  He got what he wanted, he won’t be back.  No, do not bother with the police.  I will send security to your apartment. You should come here.”

*********

After speaking with the visibly shaken young man for little more than an hour, it became clear that he was no double agent.  He was barely an agent.  Mostly, he was a fiercely loyal friend and brilliant scientist.  He had no business getting caught up in any intrigue.  When she pinned him with her disapproving parent stare he cracked and out came everything, the book, the plan with Rachel, all of it.

“Very good.  Listen to me Scott.  You will continue with your plan.  I assume the two of you were not so stupid as to not make a copy of the book?”

“I… we…”

Cosima interrupted, patting Scott on the knee. “Of course we made a copy.  I have it digitally or in print, what do you need?”

“I need you to let Sarah take the next few steps, give her the copy.  We have got to take the fight to Castor, and Sarah’s already half-way there.  Whatever the scheme is, continue.  Keep me informed.  And Scott. I trust I do not have to tell you that your discretion is of the utmost importance?”

“No Dr. Cormier.  And, I’m sorry.  I… I didn’t know what to do.  I just want to find a cure. That’s all.”

“I know Scott.  Your devotion to this project, to Cosima is apparent.  Now go lie down in the on-call room and get some rest.  Someone will be by to give you new keys to your apartment.  If you would rather stay at a hotel for a while that can also be arranged.  I’m sure we can find somewhere that Denice would also be welcome.”

“Thank you Dr. Cormier.”

“It’s Delphine, Scott. And you’re welcome.”

She straightened her collar, all business.  "Cosima, please finish up with Dr. Laine.  If Scott is feeling up to it, perhaps he could meet her as well.  I have some things I need to do.  I will be in touch later."

Cosima was about to ask what was going on; she didn’t particularly like the set of Delphine’s jaw, but she stopped.  She had to let Delphine do her job and do her best to stay out of the way.  “Ok, be careful.  I’ll be in touch later.”

Delphine nodded and turned on her heel.  This was going to end, and it was going to end today.  She was going to make a little house call.  She was going to find out if Shay was the Castor mole, and whether she was a potential danger to Leda.  And then she was going to neutralize that danger.  


She didn't even remember the drive to Shay's apartment.  The pieces she knew about the slight blonde didn't quite fit.  Not in Shay's profile, but more importantly, not in Castors.  Virginia Coady didn't like to share her boys with other women.  What role was Shay meant to play?  Surely she wasn't just some cheap black ops Mata Hari, wash she? It would all come out soon enough. She would be sure of that.  Delphine leaned hard on the doorbell, and found her annoyance rising as she heard sitar music shutting off, and a shouted “be right there!” before Shay’s slight form appeared in the doorway.

“Hello Shay.”

She didn’t miss the way Shay’s eyes widened, her pupils dilating slightly. “You expected someone else? That’s cute. Are you alone?”

“You can’t just barge in here like this… what is this?!”


	15. Chapter 15

“You can’t just barge in here like this… what is this?!” She had to admit that the young woman’s training was good. She wasn’t willing to give Delphine anything. However, the way in which she denied any knowledge of Castor, or the book, her body language, the passivity in her face, was enough for Delphine to confirm what she knew. Shay was involved without question. In fact, Delphine would have been disappointed had the slight blonde given her anything- it would have pointed to a smaller role, lesser training. Shay was a part of all of this, and Delphine would learn precisely how, even if it wasn’t going to be through threats and intimidation. No, it would come from the technology she’d surreptitiously slipped into the young woman’s apartment while distracting her with icy threats. 

When Cosima interrupted to tell Delphine that Gracie Johannson was Castor’s mole in this instance, well, she couldn’t have planned it better herself. Cosima’s phone call provided the perfect out, and left the door open for Shay and Cosima, should Delphine need to use the clone to get back to the blonde.

It was all starting to move very quickly now. The factions seemed to sense blood in the water, and just as before, it centered around Sarah Manning. If the key to it all was in the sequences, surely they were to be found in the strange book of Ethan Duncan’s. But now, the Castors had the book, the sisters had the book, and Neolution appeared to be out in the cold. Delphine knew enough to know that they would make a move, and soon. The projects- both of them- were too dear to them to allow Leda or Castor to undo any of Neolution’s work. And so, the Leda’s needed to be ready for Neolution to come swooping in- Delphine needed to be ready. Topside was covered, she had Marion and Ferdinand well in hand, had been feeding them both just enough information to keep them happy. But since Leekie’s unfortunate demise, the only Neos she knew were his lackies in the lab, nobody with real power. She wasn’t clear who the players within the organization were at this point, and that made them the most dangerous.

Once again, she was going to have to give the whole thing a little bit of slack to see who would bite. Until then, she was spinning her wheels. As she pulled into the parking garage under her penthouse, she noticed that the robotic arm appeared to be out of service and the lights were a bit more dim than usual. There was a sign up apologizing for some apparent electrical work that was going on, but Delphine wasn’t in the mood to find out whether the work was legitimate, or a sign of another kind of work all together. She quickly turned her car around, parked it on a side street, and got on a city bus to Bobbi’s bar, grateful that her colleague had secured a new location for her.

She walked into the bar, and was surprised to see Bobbi and Cosima talking across the gleaming mahogany. She slowed her stride for a moment to take in the graceful curve of Cosima’s neck, the flutter of her hands in front of her as she got to the crescendo of her story, causing Bobbi’s head to fling back in laughter. She couldn’t help the smile that split her face as she caught the blonde’s eye. She sat at the other end of the bar from Cosima, and slid her keys across the expanse of the wood, as she caught the quirk of Cosima’s eyebrow and Bobbi’s attention.

“I need to switch cars with you. Give me the keys to yours, and tell Cosima to meet me in the back.”

“Can do. Anything I need to know?”

“The handling is pulling a little to the left, and there appears to be some construction going on in my building. The garage was dark, and there seem to be some electrical issues. I thought I'd just play it safe.”

Bobbi grinned at Delphine’s attempt at humor, but her face sobered at the report of the garage. “10-4, doc. I'll send her right out. I’ll also see what I can find out about your building. Boss wants a report too, so I’ll include what I find there.”

“Yes, I have a few things that we all need to be on the same page about. Look for it in a few hours. Nothing emergent though.” Bobbi reached under the bar and handed Delphine her keys along with a bottle of water. 

“Emergent. Always with the doctor words.” She tilted her head to indicate the young woman at the other end of the bar. “Try not to get distracted.” Delphine considered her colleague’s smirk, her heavily-lined eyes and tattoos and found herself briefly considering how it was that someone as straight-laced as she was seemed to draw such unique women into her life. On this assignment she had begun to think of Bobby as a friend as well as ally. Maybe when it was all over, they’d all be friends- the sisters, Bobbi, Delphine. That was still a long way off.

“I will do my best. Thanks Bobbi.” 

She actually felt Cosima’s eyes follow her out the back entrance of the bar. For someone who thrived on logic, whose whole life had been spent trying to unravel scientific mysteries, Delphine found herself doing things that, when considered with a more rational frame of mind, made no sense. Like asking her colleague to send her girlfriend out so that they could spend the night at a safe house. It went against her training, against all of her better judgement, perhaps against actual workplace rules, and yet one look in the whisky-brown eyes that sparkled with joy as she slid into the tall jeep, and she didn’t even care.

“You think you can just have the bartender send me out and I’ll come running, eh? You think I’m that whipped?”

Delphine had the good grace to blush before replying. “I… It wasn’t quite like that. I was just surprised to see you there, and I wasn’t going to be able to go home tonight, so when I saw you, I didn’t want to leave you behind.” She was glad to be saved by a quick kiss.

“Damn right. Where are we going?”

“I couldn’t be sure that my apartment was safe tonight, so I am taking you to the carriage house that Bobbi secured for me.”

“Wait- what?! Your house isn’t safe? Why?! Did something happen? Are you ok?” 

Patting her lover’s knee in consolation, Delphine replied, “My house is probably safe, but I couldn’t be sure, and I have too much to do to call in a team to ensure it. Nothing really happened, and I am fine. We are going to a very safe place, where you and I can have dinner and I can file my report. _Tout va bien, moon coeur._

“So, you kidnapped me so that I could make you food while you work?”

“Why do you think that I cannot cook?”

“Uh, maybe because you have never done more meal preparation than popping a cork?”

Cosima was able to duck the swat that came her way. “I will have you know that I am a fine cook. I learned from my roommate in medical school. And, I am French. We can cook.”

“Well, perhaps I am selling you short Dr. Cormier. I had no idea that your talents extended to the gastronomic realm. But tonight, I’ll cook, you write your report, and then we can just hang out a little bit. You can prove yourself another time. Ok?”

“That sounds perfect. It should not take me long. I just need to report in about Shay. And I suppose anything else you might have to share?”

“All I know is that they’re hoping to get Rachel out when you are gone, and they’ve enlisted Scott and the dork patrol to help get her out. The plan is still to have her come to S’s to translate the book, at which point they’ll provide Rachel with the paperwork she needs to get out of the country- Taiwan Sarah said.”

Delphine nodded curtly, as she did whenever she was given information that she had to process. “Very well. We have to sit tight and let some of this happen, or nobody will come into the open so that I can learn of their plans or motives. You understand, yes?”

Cosima shifted in her seat, folding her legs under herself. “Yeah, it doesn’t mean I have to like it, but I do understand. Now we know that Gracie and Mark are working together, and soon we will know what is in Ethan’s book. Things are moving kind of fast. I know that S can handle herself, and she will keep Sarah safe.” She turned in her seat. “Hey- do _you_ know what kind of secret shit S was mixed up in? Sarah says she’s like, some kind of tactical badass.”

“Mmmm. I know a fair bit, yes, but I would prefer to let Siobhan share should she care to do so. Part of me keeping you safe is only telling you what you need to know. If someone were to think that you were a valuable information source, you could become even more of a target, and Siobhan has her own allies and enemies. It would be best if you were not mixed up any more than you have already become.”

They pulled the jeep into a shed and Delphine made quick work of the locks.

Cosima spun around in the sparse but comfortable space. “Home sweet home, huh?”

“For tonight at least, yes, this is home. Bobbi said she stocked the pantry and there should be some things in the freezer if not the refrigerator. I just need to check in, if that is ok? Or you could wait and see what magic I can make with a survivalist food.”

Cosima was already pulling out the shelves in the pantry and poking through the refrigerator. “Nah, I can totally work with this. Give me a few minutes and I will have something delicious whipped up. You just finish up what you’ve got to do first. I have a lot to tell you from my work with Dr. Laine.”

“Oh! I am such a...such a shit. I didn’t even remember to ask how that had gone. I am sorry.”

Cosima ushered the lanky blonde out of the galley kitchen over to the office. “Write, report, whatever. I’ll bring you a glass of wine, then we can snuggle on the couch and I’ll tell you all about it. Now get to it doctor!”

Cosima swatted at Delphine’s backside, and the young doctor grinned back at her before pulling out the slim laptop and getting down to business. So immersed was she that as she was finishing up her report, she looked up to see an empty wine glass in front of her and the scent of something delicious in the air, Cosima was swaying to whatever was pumping through her earbuds and plating up what looked like a more than passable pasta dish and crusty bread. Not bad at all for safe house rations. She closed her eyes briefly and thanked the universe for whatever twist had brought the young clone to her. This work… no, who was she kidding… her life had been so lonely, even with her colleagues, the science, for years. Science never made linguini on a cold night after a long day at work.

She slowly made her way over to where her lover was dancing while finishing the plates off with a flourish of Parmesan and parsley, enjoying how the young woman made everything she did seem like a dance. Always moving, even if it was just to her internal rhythm. She thought she could sneak up on her, perhaps surprise her with a kiss, but Delphine noticed that when she approached her, the clone added a bit more of a roll to her hips, and unconsciously or not had tilted her head to the side. The fine hairs at the nape of her neck elicited a practically Pavlovian response in the blonde, she felt her abdomen clench in anticipation before brushing feather-light kisses along the proffered skin.

“Mmmm… Dr. Cormier, did you ever notice that this happens every time I cook for you? You are lucky that I am a scientist and take note of these things.”

Cosima pulled away for a short moment, sliding plates into a warm oven. “That will keep.” Her eyes slowly made their way up the long-limbed beauty in front of her clad all in black, long hair hanging long and straight against her back. Since their mutual unburdening, it had become clear to Cosima that while she knew many things about the doctor, there were still untapped depths that she might never reach. “You look so sharp like this. With your hair straight, and all in black. All corners and edges. Sometimes when I look at you, I wonder which one is real, the girl with the curls and the sweaters and the doe-eyes or the woman with the power suits, and clicking heels, and sharp tongue.” 

She took a step closer, sliding her fingers under the placket of silk, toying with the edge of a button before sliding it through a hole. She watched the pulse in the blonde’s neck jump as her fingers journeyed downward slowly. “See, what I’m beginning to think is that maybe you are both.” She parted the dark material and bit her lip appreciatively at the expanse of pale skin laid bare before her. She slid her warm hands up to trace the deep burgundy satin and lace that she had uncovered. “Sharp edges…” she breathed as she scraped her teeth over Delphine’s collarbone, eliciting a gasp from the blonde, “and soft curves.” She ran her hands up Delphine’s chest to push the shirt from her shoulders and drank in Delphine’s hazel eyes gone dark with desire before crashing their mouths together hungrily.

If she was edges and curves, Cosima was all heat and focus. When she had first been tasked with monitoring the young clone, she had made a mistake by making some assumptions about what a dreadlocked, tattooed, stoner girl would be like. She imagined her to be care-free, perhaps even a bit lazy, but once their eyes had locked in that hallway, it became clear that while perhaps she enjoyed a rather unhurried temperament, when Cosima turned her focus on something, she didn’t relent until she got the answers she was looking for.

In this moment, the scientist appeared to be testing the blonde’s ability to remain upright as tongue and teeth and nimble hands worked to rid her of her clothing. She found herself pushed back against the kitchen counter, and sucked in a quick breath as Cosima pulled her sweater-dress off over her shoulders and shucked her tights. Before Cosima could make good on the intent that so clearly was visible on her face, Delphine grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the bed, tucked just on the other side of the counter. “I appreciate the sentiment, love, but we will be more comfortable here.”

She felt Cosima’s smile against the sensitive skin at the small of her back, as the smaller woman stretched to drop her glasses off the side of the bed. “Mmmm, we will. Plus I’ve already had you on a counter. Well, a lab table. Remember?”

Delphine hauled the brunette up and over top of her and began to trace the lines of her tattoos with her fingertips. “Remember? Of course I remember. I spent a good deal of time ‘remembering’ you late at night.”

Cosima clearly caught the implication, and groaned low with heat at the thought of Delphine using memories of their coupling while bringing herself pleasure. “Show me.”

At first she thought that Delphine might play coy and pretend she didn’t understand what she meant by the request, but then she felt Delphine push her back onto her heels. Their eyes met and held as slim, manicured hands traced a line down her pale, taut abdomen. Delphine’s eyes fluttered closed when she dipped her fingers low to pull moisture from her center up and over her clit. “ _Oui_ I thought of you, of us. I remembered how, on the very first time we made love you were so patient with me, and yet you made me come so hard with the barest of touches while I was still practically dressed. And later, when you brought me ice cream…” Her voice hitched as she found a particularly delicious bit of friction and stopped to focus on it.

Cosima bent to Delphine’s breast, sliding her tongue over her nipple as it pebbled in her mouth. She tucked herself in close to the tall blonde, and took over the storytelling. “I brought you ice cream, and we ate it in bed. Except you caught me catching a drip with my tongue after you’d finished yours.” She groaned as she felt the muscles in Delphine’s back begin to tighten, and she traced a hand down her side, over her hip, to her entrance. “I swear to god, I almost came just from the look on your face.” Slowly she began toying with her lover, sliding one and then two fingers into her slick heat without real purpose. “And then you kissed me, and you pulled me down into the bed. And do you remember what you said?”

Delphine’s legs fell open and her back arched. “Mmm.. I said ‘off’” She was rewarded with a long slow stroke. 

“You said off. And you ripped, like actually ripped, my underwear off of me. And then we were naked, and I was shaking, and you wondered why.” Cosima’s rhythm steadied as Delphine’s hips rose from the bed, and her head pressed back into the mattress, tendons in her neck standing out in stark relief. Cosima could not take her eyes off of their hands, now working together with purpose. “And I told you I was cold, but really I was nervous. Terrified. Because I loved you even then, and I wanted to make it last, to have something I could remember.” She pushed up and caught Delphine’s lips in a searing kiss, pressing high and tight with her hand as the blonde moaned her release.

She smiled as she tucked her head under her lover’s chin, listening to the spill of French endearments from her lips as she stroked her hair. “Come on, doc. Let’s eat so you can get your strength up. Then maybe we can come back here and make some more memories.”

Dropping a kiss to the top of Cosima’s head, Delphine swung her legs over the side of the bed. “You are a very smart woman. Let’s go eat, and then you can tell me all about how you and Dr. Laine are going to find a cure for this disease. And then, yes, more memories.”

They’d only gotten a few bites into their meal when Cosima’s phone rang. “Um, ok. Is she ok? Fuck! Wait, you're what?”

Just then, Delphine’s phone also trilled to life. “Dr. Nealon, why was Rachel out of the facility at all? I…never mind that now. Prognosis? Ok, I’ll be right in.”

The two women looked at one another across the small table when they’d finished their respective conversations. “I don’t suppose any of this can wait until tomorrow?”

“I’m sorry love, it can not. Dr. Nealon seems to think that Rachel has suffered a stroke. She may have taken our only chance at transcribing the book with her.”

“That was Sarah. She said that before Rachel collapsed, that she was able to decode a little of the book. ‘In London Town, we all fell down, and Castor woke from slumber.’ She and S and Felix are going to London. They think the book is about the original, not about the sequences. They want to get there before Castor does.”

Delphine was already pulling her clothes on, pulling her hair back into a loose knot at the back of her neck. “I want to you to be careful at DYAD. No loose lips in the lab, no speaking to Scott about any of this unless you are with me, do you understand? Scott’s apartment won’t be safe, nor Felix’s. I will continue to keep Scott in a hotel for the time being. You can stay here, or we will find you somewhere else.”

Cosima blinked hard. “I, uh… I guess I’ll stay here. Can I get some of my stuff?”

“Yes, but I will need to scan it all before you use it here, understood?”

“Yeah, ok. That’s fine. Um, will I be alone?”

Delphine’s expression softened. “No, _cherie_ you won’t be alone. I expect I will be spending a lot of time at DYAD, but when I am not there, I will sleep here, with you. If you need to contact me, use the texting app I gave you. I am so sorry, but I need to go.”

“I think you should sit here for one more minute while you finish eating. Who knows when you’ll get another chance. Then go. Please? For me?”

Delphine sat and began eating quickly while reading reports that had come in over her laptop. “You’re right. Please be safe. Let me know if Shay is in contact with you, and please, however you are able, tell your sisters to be on alert. With Sarah gone, Castor may target Helena or Alison.”

“I’ll tell them. Thank you.”

The two finished their meal in silence before returning to the Jeep. “Just drop me back off at Bobbi’s, I’ll figure it out from there, ok?”

“Fetch whatever you need from Felix’s and then get back to the carriage house. I will meet you there later tonight. You can keep the Jeep, and I’ll get my car back from Bobbi. Try not to worry too much, Cosima. This is just what we want- flushing the prey out into the open so that we know what we’re dealing with.”

The look on Delphine’s face was one of pure, fierce determination. Cosima almost felt sorry for anyone who crossed her path over the next few hours. She hoped beyond hope that this flurry of activity would mean that the danger, at least the external danger, would be gone soon. Until then, she would keep the truth of the danger that lurked within her own body to herself.


End file.
